~~~~ First off, let me preface this by saying that originally, this blog was going to be about badass stuff. Music, games, game development, and all that hullaballoo. Instead, it's been about... *shudders* feelings!! So for those of you looking for bad ass stuff only, I'm going to start those posts with "BADASS: ". Since this one does not start that way, it is, in fact, NOT badass ~~~~
What is this new feeling coming over me? I know this one will sound ridiculous to most of you, but it's a new one to me. This sensation... of missing someone. Not just missing them, thinking of them in passing and such, but actually aching. Never before have I ached because someone wasn't around. Sadness is a semi-familiar emotion, but emptiness?? I have so much to be proud of, so much to be happy about - hell, I'm the Guitar Hero, the game programmer, I'M CHUCK!!! - but this emptiness is all consuming. The funny thing is, I'd bet money on the fact that the feelings are one way, so they shouldn't even exist! Damn you, weird, unknown feelings! Will you go away one day? How temporary are you? Are you permanent, even? If you are permanent, is there a way to remove you just in case? WHAT ARE YOU???
Suddenly those commercials come to mind, the ones where someone tough - a fireman or whatnot - is there, and they talk about how tough they are, then say that something "so small they can't even see it could knock them out - a clot". This is how I feel. Feelings are invisible to the naked eye... Hell, they're invisible entirely! Yet they can bring someone down so easily, or bring them to heights of pleasure unknown through any other way.
I used to keep myself cold. I used to shut off emotion, to just... be. Sure, I never got really happy, but I also never felt these crazy things either. And there is a different kind of happiness in isolation, but it's not really the same... Damn friggin crazy ass girly emotions that we men are supposed to be immune to!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
ha ha! now you know what we women go through!!!!
But... I'm not a woman... I'm just supposed to be really strong, and kill spiders and stuff, and make money, and other stereotypes
oh Charlie, is this about that ~one girl~ you were telling me about? im sorry she doesnt realize just how special you are but someone out there will! :-)
i'm not entirely sure that someone who knows charlie doesn't know how truly special he is. mebbe she just doesn't feel the same way?
ah, now that could be ~giggles~ i hadnt even considered that she might not but yep she might not like him back
Post a Comment