This is a song lyric, so notes are throughout!
-----------------------
BARDIC TALE: THE EVIL WIZARD
[low tone, hardly audible, instruments just starting to swell]
Eviiiilllll....
Pure eeeviiillll....
He sits
In his home
With his parents
I guess it's no wonder he's
[instruments blaze, capital letters screamed in faux death metal style]
EEEEVVIIIIILLLLLL
SO EEEVVVIILL!!!!!!
His face shrouded in darkness,
His cloak always blows,
His hair is always perfect
And he always irons his clothes.
We all know what kind of people iron their clothes...
EEEEVVVVIIILLLLLL
FRICKIN EEEVVVIIILLLL peeeeeooopppllllleeee!!!
He goes to funerals but never signs the guestbook!
And when the invite says BYOB he just steals other people's beer!
Perhaps worst of all, when you sneeze, he won't say “bless you!”
Oh, and sometimes he wets his finger, then sticks it in your ear!
[these small parts are strummed with a solo guitar, gently, just like the first part]
But oh yeah....
He also preaches on hatred and pain to convert the weak minded,
Then he uses them to burn his enemies' villages to the ground.
Then he dances on the ashes and laughs in their face
As people cry and mindlessly, helplessly run around.
Aaaannnddd heee....
Has slain many heroes who have stood in his way,
And yet doesn't even break a sweat.
I'm going to have to rock his socks off,
Destroy him with my metal, so he's no longer a threat.
Cause he's....
EEEEEEVIIIIIILLLLL!!!!!!!!!
8 comments:
so...this Cataclysmic Bard is EEEEVVVIIILLL?
Oh, no no no no, the evil wizard is someone else. He is the villain of the first "set" or whatever you'd call it. His history, what MAKES him evil, will also come up later. That's one of the major points behind the series :)
~giggles~
"im the devil i love metal!"
"Check this lick it's fucking tasty! I'm the devil I can do what I waaaant..."
Oh, Dave Grohl... You play Satan so well!
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