THIS is the kind of pirating that should be illegal...
-------------------------------
And THIS would have made LotR MUCH more entertaining!!!!
Monday, March 31, 2008
PaD 23/365: The Tale of the Cataclysmic Bard
So, today's PaD is a song, one that you will have to read to discover yourself! ROCK ON!!!
------------------
THE TALE OF THE CATACLYSMIC BARD
VERSE 1
Back in the day, minstrels told tales
Of villains, love, heroes and war,
Of wizards, warriors and women most pure,
Of adventure and other random types of lore.
One such tale stars a magical bard,
Who used music, not spells, to cast magic.
The tale begins in a land most tame,
Where life was truly dull, oh so tragic!
The bard had other ideas, believe you me,
So he went to buy a guitar, but there were none in stock!
Oh right, they didn't exist, so craft the first one he did,
Then he learned to play... and sing... and ROOOOOCK!!!!
And so he sang...
CHORUS
I don't need a sword, don't even need kung fu
Cause I've got my axe, tell those assholes farewell!
I'll rock your pantaloons off and open your eyes,
Today's the day that we... rebeeeeeellllll!
VERSE 2
Armies arose to try to defeat the Bard,
Wielding weapons and wearing armor most slick.
Behind him the townsfolk gathered, fearful
But he stood, laughed, grinned and whipped out his.... pick.
(spoken: What'd you think I was going to say? Huh?)
As he strummed his guitar and sang his songs,
The earth quaked, volcanoes erupted and the sky turned to horrendous squall.
For so great was his power over the magic of metal
That even the elements were relentlessly at his beck and call.
And so, with the help of brave townsfolk everywhere,
The Bard did defeat the villains most heinous.
He shook his posterior in his assless chaps and said,
“Take that, suckers, now kiss my anus”!
Then he sang...
REPEAT CHORUS
VERSE 3
As the Bard raised his guitar in victory,
He addressed the masses of villagers.
“Heed these words,” He said, his voice booming,
“And fear not murders or pillagers.”
He said “Be not afraid to be yourself,
And speak your mind, always stay true.
But at the same time, stand unified and strong,
Keeping grasp of what it is that makes you YOU.”
“Most importantly of all,” He added,
“Always stand up for your beliefs.
Whether on relationships, government and morals
Or things as trivial as boxers versus briefs.”
And as he rode on, he sang once more...
REPEAT CHORUS
------------------
THE TALE OF THE CATACLYSMIC BARD
VERSE 1
Back in the day, minstrels told tales
Of villains, love, heroes and war,
Of wizards, warriors and women most pure,
Of adventure and other random types of lore.
One such tale stars a magical bard,
Who used music, not spells, to cast magic.
The tale begins in a land most tame,
Where life was truly dull, oh so tragic!
The bard had other ideas, believe you me,
So he went to buy a guitar, but there were none in stock!
Oh right, they didn't exist, so craft the first one he did,
Then he learned to play... and sing... and ROOOOOCK!!!!
And so he sang...
CHORUS
I don't need a sword, don't even need kung fu
Cause I've got my axe, tell those assholes farewell!
I'll rock your pantaloons off and open your eyes,
Today's the day that we... rebeeeeeellllll!
VERSE 2
Armies arose to try to defeat the Bard,
Wielding weapons and wearing armor most slick.
Behind him the townsfolk gathered, fearful
But he stood, laughed, grinned and whipped out his.... pick.
(spoken: What'd you think I was going to say? Huh?)
As he strummed his guitar and sang his songs,
The earth quaked, volcanoes erupted and the sky turned to horrendous squall.
For so great was his power over the magic of metal
That even the elements were relentlessly at his beck and call.
And so, with the help of brave townsfolk everywhere,
The Bard did defeat the villains most heinous.
He shook his posterior in his assless chaps and said,
“Take that, suckers, now kiss my anus”!
Then he sang...
REPEAT CHORUS
VERSE 3
As the Bard raised his guitar in victory,
He addressed the masses of villagers.
“Heed these words,” He said, his voice booming,
“And fear not murders or pillagers.”
He said “Be not afraid to be yourself,
And speak your mind, always stay true.
But at the same time, stand unified and strong,
Keeping grasp of what it is that makes you YOU.”
“Most importantly of all,” He added,
“Always stand up for your beliefs.
Whether on relationships, government and morals
Or things as trivial as boxers versus briefs.”
And as he rode on, he sang once more...
REPEAT CHORUS
Sunday, March 30, 2008
PaD 22.5: My Muse
This is the goofy version of My Muse. I've always wanted to write a serious one, but it just seems like it'd be wrong, unnatural... So here it is!
-------------------
MY MUSE
Without you, I'd sit here all day,
But I'd never have anything to say.
You turn every joke into inspiration,
Even a Relay for Life donation!
There is not a single word I've written since February
That wasn't inspired by you somehow, don't ever thing contrary.
Heck, even when you're busy or asleep,
Into my head, all these great ideas creep.
But you don't just inspire me in my prose,
You inspire me through life's highs and lows.
And I know it might seem crazy to some,
But you're an angel, bitching post and muse all in one.
When something has me down or mad,
You turn the frowny upside-downy and poof, I'm glad!
So I write this prose for you, my dear muse,
Best pal, inspiration, mood enhancing drug, sharer of future tattoos.
-------------------
MY MUSE
Without you, I'd sit here all day,
But I'd never have anything to say.
You turn every joke into inspiration,
Even a Relay for Life donation!
There is not a single word I've written since February
That wasn't inspired by you somehow, don't ever thing contrary.
Heck, even when you're busy or asleep,
Into my head, all these great ideas creep.
But you don't just inspire me in my prose,
You inspire me through life's highs and lows.
And I know it might seem crazy to some,
But you're an angel, bitching post and muse all in one.
When something has me down or mad,
You turn the frowny upside-downy and poof, I'm glad!
So I write this prose for you, my dear muse,
Best pal, inspiration, mood enhancing drug, sharer of future tattoos.
PaD 22/365: What I Want...
This one is about what the vast majority of us want. A lot of times, people just don't get it... But here it is, laid out clear as day. Anyone who feels this way about someone they're with, know that it takes us something clear like this to get it. My own past error and recent revelations have inspired this one.
---------
WHAT I WANT...
Sure, a million dollars would be awesome,
And a mansion, yeah, that'd make my jaw drop some,
But what I really want, money can't buy.
I could sure go for perfect literary skill,
Write the world's greatest prose in an hour, then just chill,
But if I said that's what I really wanted, it'd be a lie.
Oh and girls, sure, they would be cool,
If I turned down playboy skills, I'd be a fool,
But what I really want, lust can't grant.
And a horde of fans, I've got to admit,
I'd take as many of them as I could get,
But that's just not what I want the most...
What I want is to feel special and appreciated,
For you to notice what I've done and created,
What I really, truly want is to be loved.
---------
WHAT I WANT...
Sure, a million dollars would be awesome,
And a mansion, yeah, that'd make my jaw drop some,
But what I really want, money can't buy.
I could sure go for perfect literary skill,
Write the world's greatest prose in an hour, then just chill,
But if I said that's what I really wanted, it'd be a lie.
Oh and girls, sure, they would be cool,
If I turned down playboy skills, I'd be a fool,
But what I really want, lust can't grant.
And a horde of fans, I've got to admit,
I'd take as many of them as I could get,
But that's just not what I want the most...
What I want is to feel special and appreciated,
For you to notice what I've done and created,
What I really, truly want is to be loved.
Introducing Relay!
So, I added my info for the Relay for Life! It's right at the top of my blog on the left, and there it will remain until Relay time!
In August (well, in late July), I will be heading to Wisconsin to do the Relay for Life. I'm determined to help our team kick as much ass as possible! Seriously though, it's a great cause; anything that helps people feel better and live longer, I'm all for! So please, any donation of any sort is greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
In August (well, in late July), I will be heading to Wisconsin to do the Relay for Life. I'm determined to help our team kick as much ass as possible! Seriously though, it's a great cause; anything that helps people feel better and live longer, I'm all for! So please, any donation of any sort is greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
PaD 21/365: Entendre
Having some fun with words tonight. I had so many good ideas for poems, but my brain couldn't grasp something deep, so I went with this. There should be quite a lot of prose tomorrow at this rate, though!
----------------------------
ENTENDRE
Upon a visit to the woods
A woman came upon a petrified tree and said:
“I've never felt anything so hard!”
There was a woman lying on the beach,
The water rose, finding her, and she said:
“Oh damn, now I'm so wet!”
I threw a party and invited all my friends,
They seemed so happy, and as they were leaving I said:
“I am so glad you came!”
I had a horrid day of work once,
And when the day was finally over, I said:
“I didn't think I'd ever get off!”
One time I had to make a delivery,
But the front door was blocked, so she said,
“That's fine, just come in the back door.”
We were moving one time,
The truck was packed, and there was one package left.
“Damn, it's so tight, I can hardly fit my package in here!”
I had a southern friend,
She taught a lesson about mudbogging:
“The dirtier the better!”
A woman was walking down the street,
My friend saw her, and was unable to resist:
“Let's go do it all crazy and hot!”
And he got smacked, cause that's not a double entendre!
----------------------------
ENTENDRE
Upon a visit to the woods
A woman came upon a petrified tree and said:
“I've never felt anything so hard!”
There was a woman lying on the beach,
The water rose, finding her, and she said:
“Oh damn, now I'm so wet!”
I threw a party and invited all my friends,
They seemed so happy, and as they were leaving I said:
“I am so glad you came!”
I had a horrid day of work once,
And when the day was finally over, I said:
“I didn't think I'd ever get off!”
One time I had to make a delivery,
But the front door was blocked, so she said,
“That's fine, just come in the back door.”
We were moving one time,
The truck was packed, and there was one package left.
“Damn, it's so tight, I can hardly fit my package in here!”
I had a southern friend,
She taught a lesson about mudbogging:
“The dirtier the better!”
A woman was walking down the street,
My friend saw her, and was unable to resist:
“Let's go do it all crazy and hot!”
And he got smacked, cause that's not a double entendre!
Friday, March 28, 2008
PaD 20/365: Motion, Or Lack Thereof
Wow, number 20 now? WOOHOO! Only 345 more days to go! Averaging like 1.5 a day, that's a little over 500 more, whew!!!
So this one is funky, I felt I had to do a weird one is all. That, combined with running on fumes for the last few days... Fun combination! Just watch the way the words move, some are a little tricky (I had to put arrows in for the one LOL).
------------
NOTE: Today's Prose is here: http://www.proseaday.com/writing/motionorlackthereof.asp . I spent nearly an hour lining it up in HTML, I'm not doing it again over here where it won't copy right!
So this one is funky, I felt I had to do a weird one is all. That, combined with running on fumes for the last few days... Fun combination! Just watch the way the words move, some are a little tricky (I had to put arrows in for the one LOL).
------------
NOTE: Today's Prose is here: http://www.proseaday.com/writing/motionorlackthereof.asp . I spent nearly an hour lining it up in HTML, I'm not doing it again over here where it won't copy right!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Poetry about Love? How Original!
Yep, first I invent the Swiss Army Friend, now the love poem. A lot of good work done this week!
Well, first off I want to say that I got my Rock Band drums, and you can actually hook them up to your computer and play and record it! I didn't play any tonight, but Elle did, and I think it's her new favorite thing. She was SCREAMING when she had to go to sleep, and it's my new threat! "If you aren't a good girl, no drums for a whole week." "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOOOOOO!!!!" That little girl was BORN to rock!!!!
Next, I really liked the love poem here. I mean, silly is fun, but writing of love always gets me carried away. I actually wanted to try to write... well, I'll be blunt: I was going to add an erotic poem here as well, but was too sleepy and not really inspired. Mainly, I have yet to find a GOOD erotic poem. I don't want to write smut... I mean, that might be fun at some point too, but at least first, I want the romantic, sweet, euphemistic, erotic kind, not the "wham! bam! thank you ma'am."
So, as always, please do enjoy! And especially, please let me know what you think of "Eternity". If you're interested in more, PLEASE let me know! If not, well, I'll probably write more anyway, just not as quickly. Hell, maybe I'll do a week of double PaD with one silly and one love or something to get some practice going.
Well, first off I want to say that I got my Rock Band drums, and you can actually hook them up to your computer and play and record it! I didn't play any tonight, but Elle did, and I think it's her new favorite thing. She was SCREAMING when she had to go to sleep, and it's my new threat! "If you aren't a good girl, no drums for a whole week." "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOOOOOO!!!!" That little girl was BORN to rock!!!!
Next, I really liked the love poem here. I mean, silly is fun, but writing of love always gets me carried away. I actually wanted to try to write... well, I'll be blunt: I was going to add an erotic poem here as well, but was too sleepy and not really inspired. Mainly, I have yet to find a GOOD erotic poem. I don't want to write smut... I mean, that might be fun at some point too, but at least first, I want the romantic, sweet, euphemistic, erotic kind, not the "wham! bam! thank you ma'am."
So, as always, please do enjoy! And especially, please let me know what you think of "Eternity". If you're interested in more, PLEASE let me know! If not, well, I'll probably write more anyway, just not as quickly. Hell, maybe I'll do a week of double PaD with one silly and one love or something to get some practice going.
PaD 19.5: Eternity
Yeah, it's a love poem, so sue me. It was actually a lot of fun, although it was one of those where I think I spent TOO much time on it trying to make it better, but meh, gotta start somewhere, right?
----------------------------
ETERNITY
----------------------------
ETERNITY
I sit weary, crestfallen, somber, jaded
Both my heart and my body enveloped, shaded.
When my eyes behold the most incredible sight:
A woman most gorgeous glowing in the light.
My eyes catch hers and hers catch mine;
The most gorgeous shade of brown you'd ever find.
Normally I would turn, fearful, and withdraw,
But instead I am captive, hers, enthralled.
With the slightest of motion she raises her hand,
Fingers waving, before on her wine glass they once more land,
And my sadness was then, by feelings most define, eclipsed,
When a smile most radiant and glorious danced across her lips.
'To hell with reservation,' I thought as I arose,
As my body trembled, hardly able to keep on my toes.
Avoiding the urge to beat a hasty retreat,
Until I stop, parched mouth, and ask for a seat.
A chuckle and grin and a “Go right ahead,”
My heart beating once more, oh good, I'm not dead.
I sit, the light beating upon my skin,
Unable to conceal the joy I hold within.
We talk and laugh and revel in fun
Until both dinner and dessert are done.
And my smile is just impossible to hide
When she asks me to “help her” walk outside.
Once at her car, she gives me a wink
As she gives me her number, the real thing I do think.
“We will have to meet again,” She says as she smiles once more,
And the jokester inside me resists the urge to scream “SCORE!”
Then it happened.
The greatest moment in my life.
Past, present and future.
EVER.
I reached out once more, this time holding her hand,
Fingers intertwining, as I pulled her close.
Our eyes closed simultaneously in anticipation
And our lips met, soft, sweet, tender, heaven.
Every curve, every line of those sweet lips memorized,
Arms moving behind her, tugging close in desperation.
We simply held each other close, relaxed, breathing,
And we never stopped...
For eternity.
PaD 19/365: The Joy of Poetry
Something very similar to this one was my very first poem. Granted, I have no clue what happened to them all, but I felt this one needed revisiting, so here ya go! Back then, I was making fun of it cause I hated it... Now I'm making fun of it, but I like it :)
--------------------
THE JOY OF POETRY
--------------------
THE JOY OF POETRY
Poetry can seduce with prose most mellifluous,
With nuance of existence most meticulous.
Or it can just be silly and funny to enjoy,
With words that anyone can understand and employ.
Poetry can flow,
Using both rhyme and meter,
Such as these right here.
Or it can just go on and on with
Breaks in ran-
dom places to make it
seem much more
d
e
e
p
Or even just keep going on with one really long line to make someone think that there's something extra poignant in it, despite the fact that it is simply thrown in to try to make an excuse for depth at a future time like this one right here.
Poetry can aid us in our humanity,
Our continuing search for meaning and sanity.
Or it can be crude, rude and crass
Using words like “boobs”, “screw” and “meanass.”
But when all is said and done,
Poetry is fun for everyone!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Depth and Lessons
So yeah.... I got serious on the first one, so decided I'd have to write a sillier one to go along with it. The surprise was that the nonserious one was the one with a better meaning behind it! Oh coincidence, how I love you... Write enough poems every day and you're bound to hit on something good :)
Today was an excellent day *knocks on cyberwood*, and so full of lessons. Car was fixed *KNOCKS MUCH HARDER*, and I had bought lunch today, spent $8.50 at KFC after buying an extra Stacker for later. Accidentally threw it out (meh, just a buck, right?), then went to pay for the car. $613.17. Open my wallet, count it out: $611. DAMNIT!!! Whip out change in pocket, up to $613.02. Wow, suddenly a dollar means the world, doesn't it? I had change in the car, but the point there is - IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL IT'S OVER!!! As far as the car, I think it had to break down to make me realize not to neglect what we have, to feel like I am truly starting fresh (not having it for a week then getting it back is like getting a new car!), and it brought Gwen and I together again as friends. So I am actually happy it happened, even if it did cost $1000 pretty much when all was said and done, BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN I NEED IT TO BREAK AGAIN THANKS!!! It also showed me that people are here for me. Mom loaned me $400/300, Gwen whipped out $100 at the end there, and Wanda was there texting and emailing through it all. I thank you all so much for your support.
Do enjoy today's PaD! My Cloudgazer is up there in my favorites now, whether y'all like it or not! As Dane Cook said, "You don't have to laugh, this one is for me."
Today was an excellent day *knocks on cyberwood*, and so full of lessons. Car was fixed *KNOCKS MUCH HARDER*, and I had bought lunch today, spent $8.50 at KFC after buying an extra Stacker for later. Accidentally threw it out (meh, just a buck, right?), then went to pay for the car. $613.17. Open my wallet, count it out: $611. DAMNIT!!! Whip out change in pocket, up to $613.02. Wow, suddenly a dollar means the world, doesn't it? I had change in the car, but the point there is - IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL IT'S OVER!!! As far as the car, I think it had to break down to make me realize not to neglect what we have, to feel like I am truly starting fresh (not having it for a week then getting it back is like getting a new car!), and it brought Gwen and I together again as friends. So I am actually happy it happened, even if it did cost $1000 pretty much when all was said and done, BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN I NEED IT TO BREAK AGAIN THANKS!!! It also showed me that people are here for me. Mom loaned me $400/300, Gwen whipped out $100 at the end there, and Wanda was there texting and emailing through it all. I thank you all so much for your support.
Do enjoy today's PaD! My Cloudgazer is up there in my favorites now, whether y'all like it or not! As Dane Cook said, "You don't have to laugh, this one is for me."
PaD 18.5: My Cloudgazer
This one I started to write as a silly little poem, but looking back it reminds me of how silly poetry can really be. This poem can be taken so many different ways it's not even funny; hell, there's even a really serious meaning behind it if you want to get into it.
-------------
MY CLOUDGAZER
I carry a basket as we climb up the hill
Seeking out the perfect table.
But you point to the clouds and giggle.
I say I'm willing if you're able!
Lying side by side, we gaze upon distant marshmallows,
The tablecloth a comfy pillow
As we laugh and smile and find all sorts of shapes
Hey look, an armadillo!
We see monsters, birds, faces and mythical beasts
All in their fluffy shapes,
Holy crap, is that Draco holding Hermione
As she closes the drapes?
I can do this forever, I think to myself
As the heavens entertain,
Giggling and smiling, cuddled together, looking always up,
Here without life's pain.
-------------
MY CLOUDGAZER
I carry a basket as we climb up the hill
Seeking out the perfect table.
But you point to the clouds and giggle.
I say I'm willing if you're able!
Lying side by side, we gaze upon distant marshmallows,
The tablecloth a comfy pillow
As we laugh and smile and find all sorts of shapes
Hey look, an armadillo!
We see monsters, birds, faces and mythical beasts
All in their fluffy shapes,
Holy crap, is that Draco holding Hermione
As she closes the drapes?
I can do this forever, I think to myself
As the heavens entertain,
Giggling and smiling, cuddled together, looking always up,
Here without life's pain.
PaD 18/365: Personal Apocalypse
This is a poem of... well, you know what? I'm going to retain SOME mystery, even if this one's symbolism is rather obvious, well all but the last piece. Have fun with that! Oh wait, what's that? I've got a TEXT MESSAGE??? Hmmmm... I guess I should reply to my *AHEM* text message *AHEM*..... Seeing as how I do so much with my phone, huh???
----------------------
PERSONAL APOCALYPSE
When it all began, the world was empty.
Vast with unlimited possibility, perfect.
Homes were erected, housing individuals,
And between them, roads to connect.
My own home was built on weak ground,
It's walls of mud; wobbly, fragile, weak.
So I followed a road to a builder of skill
Dragging my home, her aid I did seek.
Together our home was sturdy and strong,
But my own home was simply consumed,
And it wasn't until the apocalypse came
I remembered how little I had to exhume.
Our homes separated, both now a wreck,
I cried and I cried, having lost all I had.
I laid in the mud of my now destroyed home
Wondering how anyone could survive something so bad.
It was then with the help of an angel
Who spoke to me through the vibration of my phone
That I realized that my loss was a gain,
And the joy of a clean slate was finally shown.
I laid foundation and planned a new home,
I replaced mud with brick, solid and straight.
And in the center I placed an alabaster pillar;
It had nine numbers upon it: 8398 92632.
----------------------
PERSONAL APOCALYPSE
When it all began, the world was empty.
Vast with unlimited possibility, perfect.
Homes were erected, housing individuals,
And between them, roads to connect.
My own home was built on weak ground,
It's walls of mud; wobbly, fragile, weak.
So I followed a road to a builder of skill
Dragging my home, her aid I did seek.
Together our home was sturdy and strong,
But my own home was simply consumed,
And it wasn't until the apocalypse came
I remembered how little I had to exhume.
Our homes separated, both now a wreck,
I cried and I cried, having lost all I had.
I laid in the mud of my now destroyed home
Wondering how anyone could survive something so bad.
It was then with the help of an angel
Who spoke to me through the vibration of my phone
That I realized that my loss was a gain,
And the joy of a clean slate was finally shown.
I laid foundation and planned a new home,
I replaced mud with brick, solid and straight.
And in the center I placed an alabaster pillar;
It had nine numbers upon it: 8398 92632.
PaD 17.66: I Love My Package!
The final prose for today, this one... Well, read it twice. You'll probably get two different ideas for what's going on. If not, well... You missed out on the fun then! Imagine it like those crazy 3d image thingies, where you look at it, and if you look JUST right then the 3d image jumps out of the weird swirlies. As a little tidbit, the email I use for this - A Schooner Is a Sailboat - is based off of one of those! Anyone who hasn't seen Mallrats must do so immediately, and yes, by reading that sentence you have indeed agreed to do so! Hope you've got Netflix!
------------------
I LOVE MY PACKAGE
------------------
I LOVE MY PACKAGE
I found out I was receiving my package today,
I was so elated, I didn't know what to say.
I couldn't wait to get my hands on my package,
Just get to work with some major ransackage.
So I ripped it open and grabbed what was inside,
The pleasure it created was more than I could hide.
In fact, the cry of joy was like an irresistible hook,
For suddenly everyone around had to come and take a look.
By now, all sorts of people were standing around,
Taking turns looking, making “ooh” and “aah” sounds.
And I know this may come across with a little conceit,
But it seemed no one could get enough of my treat.
Many even whispered in my ear as they gave me an embrace,
Telling me just how much they'd like to get a little taste.
But I said with a smile that there was plenty for them all,
And I gave each one some, their moans a siren's call.
Each one left once they were good and satisfied,
So that soon there was no one left by my side.
I sat down, just me in my package, in pure bliss
Inside, my wonderful raspberry chocolatey goodness.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
PaD 17.33: Package Buddies
Okay, so this is what my day centered around - the best part of it all - so I had to write this poem in dedication. I said before I'd write more prose about the great Wandaliciousness, and here's one for something new she's become: my package buddy!
--------------
PACKAGE BUDDIES
--------------
PACKAGE BUDDIES
Facebook, IM, text, the “other Facebook.”
Practically all the ways to communicate.
Unless two cans----with-----a-----string count,
But across the country, I'd have to debate...
Then I get home to find a fabric covered box
Inside an envelope, oh my, it's so great!
Oh, and Raspberry Chocolate and yummy coffee,
I must add, are most assuredly the perfect bait.
Now we're package buddies, package buddy,
With both giving and receiving as the perks.
You send to me, and then I send to you,
That's just the way that it works!
Then you send more back my way, and once more I do you,
Until we each have a collection of gifts,
And I don't know about you, but no matter what I get,
All I have to do is look at it, and my mood suddenly lifts.
So we mail random stuff that only we'd appreciate,
In boxes and envelopes and packages and shrink wrap,
And we make nifty wrapping and gussy it up,
Then we take our mailing labels and put them on with a slap.
It's like a never ending game of interstate tag,
Except we have to pay the government to send it.
Make sure they know if it's valuable to insure it,
And if it's fragile, make sure they don't bend it.
PaD 17/365: Naked Time!
This was a PaD I'm surprised I didn't think of before, since half my writing and nearly ALL my inspiration comes within this period of time... So, here it is, a dedication to the greatest time of any day: NAKED TIME!!! Aka the shower. Note: "Nekkid" is also a valid form of "Naked", except that it's the sillier version.
Also, this is another of those "written to be a song" proses... The chorus being much different than the lines, of course, and the last and first pieces are much slower... Light cymbal work and gentle guitar going with quiet singing
----------------
NAKED TIME
Also, this is another of those "written to be a song" proses... The chorus being much different than the lines, of course, and the last and first pieces are much slower... Light cymbal work and gentle guitar going with quiet singing
----------------
NAKED TIME
Oooooohhhhhhhh morning....
Gotta wake up sooner or later...
Grab my phone and some Mayan Chocolate coffee...
It's gonna take something special to wake up today...
It's gonna take....
Naked time, it's naked time!
Water's so warm, feels so divine.
Sudsy and clean, now I smell like lime.
Relaxing here in my own personal shrine.
Now I'm awake and ready to tackle the day,
Doesn't matter what you do, doesn't matter what you say.
Nothing in the world can kill this mood I'm in,
I'm floating in midair, happier than I've ever been,
Thanks to...
Naked time, it's naked time!
Water's so warm, feels so divine.
Sudsy and clean, now I smell like lime.
Relaxing here in my own personal shrine.
What's that? You don't know how great it can be?
Well, you know, I'd be more than happy to help you see...
Why don't you just take my hand and follow me?
I'll show you a whole new level of ecstacy...
Oh HELL yeah, it's...
Naked time, it's naked time!
So strip off your clothes, babe, you look so fine.
Room's getting steamy, feels so divine.
If you're showin' me yours, I'm showin' you mine.
Nothing more sensual than the feel of soapy skin,
Feeling and looking and smelling so fresh.
Get back out and slowly towel down,
I swear, there's no greater pleasure around...
Maybe one more...
Naked time, it's naked time!
No one else around, may as well spend the day like this,
I won't even believe you if you say something greater exists,
And, of course, it doesn't hurt that you look so dee-lish!
And that's all I can say...
Without going X-Ray... ted....
[Extra high pitched] Noooooooooooooooo...
Monday, March 24, 2008
PaD 16/365: Charlinox
Not quite sure what's come over me... Probably a combination of the whole weekend thing with the working on the website, but my writing seems to be suffering for it. We all have dry spells, though, right?
Today's poem is about quite possibly the greatest invention of all. It's actually in dedication to my own bestest best of friends, and every bit of it is true. Well, except the fitting in your pocket, and only being $10... Damn that'd rock though! Plus, I guess you CAN fit your friends in your pocket thanks to your cell phone...
-------------------------------
CHARLINOX
Today's poem is about quite possibly the greatest invention of all. It's actually in dedication to my own bestest best of friends, and every bit of it is true. Well, except the fitting in your pocket, and only being $10... Damn that'd rock though! Plus, I guess you CAN fit your friends in your pocket thanks to your cell phone...
-------------------------------
CHARLINOX
It wasn't long ago that I came up with my invention,
Although it was something so obvious and clear in the end.
We all need someone who can be everything to us,
So I invented the Swiss Army Friend.
They come in both male and female versions,
And you can slip em right in the pocket of your pants.
When you're depressed, they'll cheer you right up,
And give you advice anytime on romance.
When you don't feel confident they make you feel great.
Need a laugh? They're loaded with jokes,
If you need to release tension they'll listen intently,
And they know how to win over all sorts of folks.
Come buy one now, they're only $9.95,
And once you've bought them, you'll never part.
Plus, order now and get this guarantee:
Soon after you meet, they slip into your heart.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
PaD 15/365: Cheat Code
This poem has a deeper meaning too, but it is much more obvious. It was fun to be able to go by my inner geek again though, woohoo!!! The last six lines are together on purpose. Each set of two before this is its own step; these six go together to wrap it all up.
Also, for anyone who is curious, I posted the meaning behind yesterday's haiku in the comments so that you can't stumble on it unless you want to.
-----------------------------
CHEAT CODE
Also, for anyone who is curious, I posted the meaning behind yesterday's haiku in the comments so that you can't stumble on it unless you want to.
-----------------------------
CHEAT CODE
I was playing this game, nearly made it to the last stage
Cause I'm the only one who can free the princess from her cage.
I've leveled up, gained experience, man my guy is so bad!
But I poured my soul into it, every free chance I had.
But now sixty hours later, I can't get past this boss;
I've tried over and over, and every time I've lost.
So I found this cheat code that would help me play:
Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A.
Now my character is living in prosperity
With unlimited gold, strength, defense, HP and dexterity.
I finally managed to take down that bad ass mofo,
The way he went down made for a hell of a show.
Now the game was easy, so I flew through the last levels
Stabbing and burning and smashing the devils.
I reached the last boss, oh boy this should be unreal!
But thanks to the code, not once did I have to heal...
This was it, this was supposed to be the best part,
The culmination of all the work from the very start.
I wish I had saved before I used that code, man it bites,
How my experience and leveling suddenly became so trite.
But next time no matter how hard it is to bear it,
I'll make sure that I do it all by my own merits.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
PaD 14/365: Wrong Wheel & Normal Blog
So I'm lazy tonight, and put the normal blog in with the PaD. Today was a very, very long day, and I have not been sleepy before around 1am in a LONG time; tonight I got sleepy at 21:00!!!
Please don't take tonight's PaD's shortness as part of this! Granted, I didn't want to go into one that was extremely deep, and I actually saved several ideas for the future/tomorrow! Tonight's PaD IS very short, yes, but it is deep. There is more meaning hidden behind it than at least half the stuff I've written. And if you think IT'S messed up, it was inspired by another poem, not even a haiku like mine, which was also exceptionally short and made little to no sense. Although I must admit - this one does make me realize there may have been some meaning hidden behind it.
------------------------------
WRONG WHEEL
I once had a car,
Of four wheels, one was square.
I loved it the most.
---------------
So, why would I love a square wheel more? Tomorrow's PaD will include one that explains much more in depth :)
Please don't take tonight's PaD's shortness as part of this! Granted, I didn't want to go into one that was extremely deep, and I actually saved several ideas for the future/tomorrow! Tonight's PaD IS very short, yes, but it is deep. There is more meaning hidden behind it than at least half the stuff I've written. And if you think IT'S messed up, it was inspired by another poem, not even a haiku like mine, which was also exceptionally short and made little to no sense. Although I must admit - this one does make me realize there may have been some meaning hidden behind it.
------------------------------
WRONG WHEEL
I once had a car,
Of four wheels, one was square.
I loved it the most.
---------------
So, why would I love a square wheel more? Tomorrow's PaD will include one that explains much more in depth :)
Friday, March 21, 2008
THREE Poems Today!
Today was all about lessons. Someone told me that one's car is an extention of oneself, and that if it is broken, most likely the driver is also. Someone else told me that our emotions are an incredible force, and when we feel different ways, we push that onto everything in our world. Either way, there were lessons to learn.
1) Don't be gluttonous. The car had started slightly failing but still being sturdy, and I went out and spent like $60 on crap - music, my websites, snacks, etc. So thereby, avoid gluttony and keep priorities straight, too.
2) Cockiness can be bad. Yeah, I know, right? Who would have known? I had always lived by the thought that "it'll be fine, it all works out somehow." I never realized just how much work others had to put in to MAKE it so that it'll work out. Be an active participant in life!
3) Life is more than failures. On our tightrope walk through life, we cannot appreciate the strength of our net until it saves us when we fall, but we cannot get back to walking unless WE pull OURSELVES back up that ladder, take a deep breath and get back at it. Yeah, you can quote me on that, I like it!
So anyway, the prose is about my experience today. But it's not about the hell I went through (although it was all self-caused, since mom was the one who got me the money and all, it was just nerves and still is some), it's about the revelations. This also marks a rather major change in my style, in that they are much more serious, and the third one even uses some fancy words! *Shudders* I know... But change is good, yes? Gotta stop rhyming 'too' with 'you' and 'for' with 'more' some day, right?
The first poem, To All the Angels, is a heralding (haha get it?) call for everyone to appreciate those in their lives who are their own personal angels. It's like that song.... "Your own.... personal... Jesus" except less blasphemous, which is weird for me to be LESS blasphemous than something...
The second poem was going to be included in the first, as I'd done before, but it really deserved its own room to fly. It's also funkier! Go funk! "We're the renegades of funk, the renegades of funk..."
And the third is 100% seriousness!!! I drew on my own experience for the being in the rain, having knocked on many a customer's door in pouring rain, and having dogs chase me one of those times. One of the scariest things I've experienced.
ENJOY!!!!!!!
1) Don't be gluttonous. The car had started slightly failing but still being sturdy, and I went out and spent like $60 on crap - music, my websites, snacks, etc. So thereby, avoid gluttony and keep priorities straight, too.
2) Cockiness can be bad. Yeah, I know, right? Who would have known? I had always lived by the thought that "it'll be fine, it all works out somehow." I never realized just how much work others had to put in to MAKE it so that it'll work out. Be an active participant in life!
3) Life is more than failures. On our tightrope walk through life, we cannot appreciate the strength of our net until it saves us when we fall, but we cannot get back to walking unless WE pull OURSELVES back up that ladder, take a deep breath and get back at it. Yeah, you can quote me on that, I like it!
So anyway, the prose is about my experience today. But it's not about the hell I went through (although it was all self-caused, since mom was the one who got me the money and all, it was just nerves and still is some), it's about the revelations. This also marks a rather major change in my style, in that they are much more serious, and the third one even uses some fancy words! *Shudders* I know... But change is good, yes? Gotta stop rhyming 'too' with 'you' and 'for' with 'more' some day, right?
The first poem, To All the Angels, is a heralding (haha get it?) call for everyone to appreciate those in their lives who are their own personal angels. It's like that song.... "Your own.... personal... Jesus" except less blasphemous, which is weird for me to be LESS blasphemous than something...
The second poem was going to be included in the first, as I'd done before, but it really deserved its own room to fly. It's also funkier! Go funk! "We're the renegades of funk, the renegades of funk..."
And the third is 100% seriousness!!! I drew on my own experience for the being in the rain, having knocked on many a customer's door in pouring rain, and having dogs chase me one of those times. One of the scariest things I've experienced.
ENJOY!!!!!!!
PaD 13.66: My Greatest Enemy
So this one was actually inspired by PaD 13.33. It's about the worst enemy one can face. Before you get to the last stanza (which is why I put it so far down) try to figure out who I'm talking about. Free cookies for anyone who guesses!
*** Oopsies, I had changed the previous line to rhyme and flow better, and didn't realize I was repeating myself. The line with *** was changed.
---------------------
MY GREATEST ENEMY
You have fought me at every turn,
Laughed at my every blunder.
Slow to compliment, quick to chide,
Tearing all hope asunder.
I knock at your door in the pouring rain,
You send your dogs and turn up your tv set.
All that want to mend what we have,
I'm not ready to give up on you just yet.
Yet despite all this, I love you.
I need you, I live you, you are my all.
So why is it that you can't see****
How I cry when you cause me to fall?
I look in the mirror and all that reflects
Is weakness, fear, flakiness and greed.
How do I survive in such a cold world
When my greatest enemy is me?
*** Oopsies, I had changed the previous line to rhyme and flow better, and didn't realize I was repeating myself. The line with *** was changed.
---------------------
MY GREATEST ENEMY
You have fought me at every turn,
Laughed at my every blunder.
Slow to compliment, quick to chide,
Tearing all hope asunder.
I knock at your door in the pouring rain,
You send your dogs and turn up your tv set.
All that want to mend what we have,
I'm not ready to give up on you just yet.
Yet despite all this, I love you.
I need you, I live you, you are my all.
So why is it that you can't see****
How I cry when you cause me to fall?
I look in the mirror and all that reflects
Is weakness, fear, flakiness and greed.
How do I survive in such a cold world
When my greatest enemy is me?
PaD 13.33: My Angels
This was going to be included in the first poem, but I felt it deserved its own. This is more avant garde, no particular rhyme or flow! The lines just go where they felt like they should.
Follow them
With
Care
And enjoy.
---------------------
MY ANGELS
I write this for those who have shaped my life,
For those who are all forever in my heart.
Two plus two = four, I learned that long ago,
But in this case, two plus one plus one plus one plus one = one.
The Angels of Youth
Mom and Dad were my very first angels.
As a kid, you never see that.
The best mix of all personalities came from them.
My humor,
My intelligence,
My optimism,
My... Me.
And you are still there for me.
And I know you always will be.
The Angel of Coincidental Birth
An angel unnoticed for so long.
Marcella Marie Jackson.
I tried to strangle you with my socks.
I banged your face into a water fountain.
I annoyed you and your friends.
I got Zoe to dislike you.
You... I don't remember any bad stuff you did.
Then I moved away and we got closer.
Now I know you, too, will always be there.
The Angel of Growth
So I was nothing.
I was 17, an empty vessel.
My life involved a computer, a tv with games, a desk and walks to the fridge.
Then I found you, Gwennie.
And I imprisoned you in a cage so you couldn't run when I told you how I felt.
Not literally of course, but online, inside asterisks.
We have gone through so much together,
And while we are in different places now,
I hope to always be there for you,
And hope you are for me too.
The Digital Angel
The newest angel of all is one from my past.
Well, from Marcy's past.
Wandaliciousness.
You've helped me through my most recent troubles.
And challenged me to find the real me.
You tell me to remember my angels and speak with them.
But I do, every day, by text.
It would be a cold day in hell
When I'm without your aid.
I plead for you to always be there for me,
But even more importantly,
Never stop being you,
Never.
The Secret Angel
The greatest of all, hands down.
Charlie.
Chuck.
Chuckles.
Chaz. No wait, never Chaz, no thanks.
I am me, and always will be.
I have to remember that I am my own angel too.
I have to push myself, to encourage myself.
I have to believe in me.
I have to see it through to the end.
My angels are here to inspire, to help,
But ultimately my life is what I make of it.
So,
Secret Angel,
I beg you,
I plead you,
Please,
Never stop being here for me.
Follow them
With
Care
And enjoy.
---------------------
MY ANGELS
I write this for those who have shaped my life,
For those who are all forever in my heart.
Two plus two = four, I learned that long ago,
But in this case, two plus one plus one plus one plus one = one.
The Angels of Youth
Mom and Dad were my very first angels.
As a kid, you never see that.
The best mix of all personalities came from them.
My humor,
My intelligence,
My optimism,
My... Me.
And you are still there for me.
And I know you always will be.
The Angel of Coincidental Birth
An angel unnoticed for so long.
Marcella Marie Jackson.
I tried to strangle you with my socks.
I banged your face into a water fountain.
I annoyed you and your friends.
I got Zoe to dislike you.
You... I don't remember any bad stuff you did.
Then I moved away and we got closer.
Now I know you, too, will always be there.
The Angel of Growth
So I was nothing.
I was 17, an empty vessel.
My life involved a computer, a tv with games, a desk and walks to the fridge.
Then I found you, Gwennie.
And I imprisoned you in a cage so you couldn't run when I told you how I felt.
Not literally of course, but online, inside asterisks.
We have gone through so much together,
And while we are in different places now,
I hope to always be there for you,
And hope you are for me too.
The Digital Angel
The newest angel of all is one from my past.
Well, from Marcy's past.
Wandaliciousness.
You've helped me through my most recent troubles.
And challenged me to find the real me.
You tell me to remember my angels and speak with them.
But I do, every day, by text.
It would be a cold day in hell
When I'm without your aid.
I plead for you to always be there for me,
But even more importantly,
Never stop being you,
Never.
The Secret Angel
The greatest of all, hands down.
Charlie.
Chuck.
Chuckles.
Chaz. No wait, never Chaz, no thanks.
I am me, and always will be.
I have to remember that I am my own angel too.
I have to push myself, to encourage myself.
I have to believe in me.
I have to see it through to the end.
My angels are here to inspire, to help,
But ultimately my life is what I make of it.
So,
Secret Angel,
I beg you,
I plead you,
Please,
Never stop being here for me.
PaD 13/365: To All the Angels
This first poem is inspired by one of the greatest angels in my life (see PaD 13.33 for that), and it's about what an angel is to me. That's pretty much all I need to say!
----------------------
TO ALL THE ANGELS
I was raised to believe there were angels.
“They watch you and protect you,” I was told.
“They live in the heavens and look down.”
I'm sorry to say I just wasn't quite sold.
Now I recently realized angels do exist,
But they didn't look down upon us.
Instead, they see us as equals and inspire,
When we feel most desperate to cuss.
And angels certainly don't protect us, either,
Because life isn't something to be shielded from.
We have to be pushed to face adversity,
Learn our lessons and never succumb.
Our angels aren't faceless beings,
But instead those we love so dear.
The people we can depend on,
Or randomly call upon when we need someone near.
To all the angels to the world,
To all those who care and who love,
To all those who listen and spark us,
YOU are the embodiment of heaven above.
----------------------
TO ALL THE ANGELS
I was raised to believe there were angels.
“They watch you and protect you,” I was told.
“They live in the heavens and look down.”
I'm sorry to say I just wasn't quite sold.
Now I recently realized angels do exist,
But they didn't look down upon us.
Instead, they see us as equals and inspire,
When we feel most desperate to cuss.
And angels certainly don't protect us, either,
Because life isn't something to be shielded from.
We have to be pushed to face adversity,
Learn our lessons and never succumb.
Our angels aren't faceless beings,
But instead those we love so dear.
The people we can depend on,
Or randomly call upon when we need someone near.
To all the angels to the world,
To all those who care and who love,
To all those who listen and spark us,
YOU are the embodiment of heaven above.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
PaD 12/365: Tipsy
So, I wrote this poem WHILE tipsy (although I usually am), and while writing it my mind was messing with me and since it was all about being tipsy, it made me feel MORE tipsy! But this is more of the silliness I like to do anyway, so I'm happy to have done it, yay!
--------------------------------------
TIPSY
La la la la, I'm so tipsy.
It's always so amazing to me
How much more perfect life can be
When you're a little tipsy.
Why can't the president get tipsy?
Maybe then he'd be true,
Cause lying is just too hard to do
When you're good and tipsy.
Why can't detectives be tipsy?
It's so much easier to think clearly,
And see things that are just merely
Nothing if you're not tipsy.
And why can't lawyers be tipsy?
Maybe they wouldn't chase innocent peeps
And just go after assholes for keeps
Until they were done being tipsy.
WhY CaNT writrz bee tispy?
Id't bee soooo much more fnu
Reeding stfuf that doznt maek too much sense tooooo reed all teh tiem liek this
CuZ YoUUUU Fogret to ryme when tispy!
And why can't musicians be tipsy?
Oh wait, most of them go beyond liquor
And take drugs that make them much sicker,
Instead, they should just get tipsy.
Why can't computer geeks be tipsy?
Maybe then they'd accidentally write the wrong code,
And knock all the AI into “enslave the world” mode.
So maybe they shouldn't get tipsy.....
And why can't television writers be tipsy?
Well okay, I think all of them who write soaps are,
Cause otherwise it wouldn't take a character two weeks to walk to their car.
Stretching stories comes from laziness, inspired by being tipsy!
And why can't actors and actresses be tipsy?
It'd make their roles so much easier to get into
Unless it's a character who'd just been to
An AA meeting... They shouldn't be tipsy.
And why can't bus drivers and text drivers be tipsy?
Oh cause that'd be stupid.
And why can't scientists get tipsy?
Hmmm.. What happens when you mix these.... BOOM!
I guess tipsy scientists could lead to much doom,
So they'd have to stay VERY lightly tipsy.
Why can't retail folks be tipsy?
It'd sure make shopping enjoyable
If for people to be employable
Had to be good and tipsy.
And why can't mechanics be tipsy?
Then they wouldn't be able to spin such bullshit,
Spending less time fixing and more time getting you hit
In your wallet. They should totally be tipsy!
And why can't we all be tipsy?
Cause every woman and man's-a
Better off that way, so just head to the next stanza,
Then we'll all get tipsy!
So did I say I was tipsy?
Maybe it's time for a party?
The best kind – let's party hardy!
Gonna get ourselves more tipsy!
I think everyone should be tipsy.
You get so relaxed, so at peace,
It's kinda like your brain is on lease,
But you forgot to pay this month, too tipsy.
I don't deny it's bad to be too tipsy,
But really I'm too tipsy to care.
Just be careful you don't go out there
If you're a little too tipsy.
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
Yeah I know that didn't end with tipsy,
Why are you getting so lip-sy?
I'm done here, so I can go WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
--------------------------------------
TIPSY
La la la la, I'm so tipsy.
It's always so amazing to me
How much more perfect life can be
When you're a little tipsy.
Why can't the president get tipsy?
Maybe then he'd be true,
Cause lying is just too hard to do
When you're good and tipsy.
Why can't detectives be tipsy?
It's so much easier to think clearly,
And see things that are just merely
Nothing if you're not tipsy.
And why can't lawyers be tipsy?
Maybe they wouldn't chase innocent peeps
And just go after assholes for keeps
Until they were done being tipsy.
WhY CaNT writrz bee tispy?
Id't bee soooo much more fnu
Reeding stfuf that doznt maek too much sense tooooo reed all teh tiem liek this
CuZ YoUUUU Fogret to ryme when tispy!
And why can't musicians be tipsy?
Oh wait, most of them go beyond liquor
And take drugs that make them much sicker,
Instead, they should just get tipsy.
Why can't computer geeks be tipsy?
Maybe then they'd accidentally write the wrong code,
And knock all the AI into “enslave the world” mode.
So maybe they shouldn't get tipsy.....
And why can't television writers be tipsy?
Well okay, I think all of them who write soaps are,
Cause otherwise it wouldn't take a character two weeks to walk to their car.
Stretching stories comes from laziness, inspired by being tipsy!
And why can't actors and actresses be tipsy?
It'd make their roles so much easier to get into
Unless it's a character who'd just been to
An AA meeting... They shouldn't be tipsy.
And why can't bus drivers and text drivers be tipsy?
Oh cause that'd be stupid.
And why can't scientists get tipsy?
Hmmm.. What happens when you mix these.... BOOM!
I guess tipsy scientists could lead to much doom,
So they'd have to stay VERY lightly tipsy.
Why can't retail folks be tipsy?
It'd sure make shopping enjoyable
If for people to be employable
Had to be good and tipsy.
And why can't mechanics be tipsy?
Then they wouldn't be able to spin such bullshit,
Spending less time fixing and more time getting you hit
In your wallet. They should totally be tipsy!
And why can't we all be tipsy?
Cause every woman and man's-a
Better off that way, so just head to the next stanza,
Then we'll all get tipsy!
So did I say I was tipsy?
Maybe it's time for a party?
The best kind – let's party hardy!
Gonna get ourselves more tipsy!
I think everyone should be tipsy.
You get so relaxed, so at peace,
It's kinda like your brain is on lease,
But you forgot to pay this month, too tipsy.
I don't deny it's bad to be too tipsy,
But really I'm too tipsy to care.
Just be careful you don't go out there
If you're a little too tipsy.
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
Yeah I know that didn't end with tipsy,
Why are you getting so lip-sy?
I'm done here, so I can go WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
Good Grief It's Late!!!
Whew, 3:33 on the dot on my clock here as I start this one. Well, I got the calendar done on proseaday.com and also uploaded all the poems, converting them all manually to HTML (I didn't like the way OpenOffice was doing it, sorry!). I'm still going to add the descriptions of each one onto the pages, and I didn't put the most recent on the front page, but being so late I think it's safe to give myself the night off finally.
I also updated my profile on here. I know it'll sound silly, but undoing the profile that says "game maker" and changing it to "writer".... It felt like a huge step. It's funny though, I feel pride in all my writing, even though I'm sure plenty of it sucks. It's like the song by Weezer, "In the Garage":
I write these stupid words
And I love every one
That's how I feel. Stupid, perhaps. Silly, most definitely. But I love them all regardless! GO WEEZER!!!
Anyway, so on top of that, got my PaD done! And I think I'm getting sick, thanks to the insane rain earlier... I cant stop coughing and sneezing, and I've been shivering all night. Oh well, work tomorrow (well okay, technically today) shouldn't be too bad!
I had sooooo much I was going to say peeps, but I don't remember any of it! God, it's so late that even the wine has worn off... I'm typing with eyes closed here LOL.
Oh well, have a good night, y'all. And yeah, sorry, I DO say "y'all" sometimes... I've been down here in the south too long, perhaps.
I also updated my profile on here. I know it'll sound silly, but undoing the profile that says "game maker" and changing it to "writer".... It felt like a huge step. It's funny though, I feel pride in all my writing, even though I'm sure plenty of it sucks. It's like the song by Weezer, "In the Garage":
I write these stupid words
And I love every one
That's how I feel. Stupid, perhaps. Silly, most definitely. But I love them all regardless! GO WEEZER!!!
Anyway, so on top of that, got my PaD done! And I think I'm getting sick, thanks to the insane rain earlier... I cant stop coughing and sneezing, and I've been shivering all night. Oh well, work tomorrow (well okay, technically today) shouldn't be too bad!
I had sooooo much I was going to say peeps, but I don't remember any of it! God, it's so late that even the wine has worn off... I'm typing with eyes closed here LOL.
Oh well, have a good night, y'all. And yeah, sorry, I DO say "y'all" sometimes... I've been down here in the south too long, perhaps.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
PaD 11/365: Love Detective
So, this one is less humorous, although DO look out for the references to the detective world! Think of those old detective movies for a reference point. Anyway, it's about the confusion that comes with that first stage of love between friends. It's a complex world one gets into - you never want to ruin what you have, but at the same time, those emotions keep nagging at you. "Should I say how I really feel? What if I do, and she doesn't, I might lose what I have. But what if she DOES feel the same and I don't say anything? I could have had heaven, but my cowardice ruined it." Grrrr at complexity sometimes!!!
------------------------
LOVE DETECTIVE
------------------------
LOVE DETECTIVE
Love detective, I come to you seeking help.
I've got to admit I have no sense for this stuff.
You see, there's this girl in my life,
And I don't know if I should tell her of my luff.
So I come to you, magnifying glass in hand,
Begging that you'll take this case for me.
I'm desperate, and my heart has been taken for ransom
By it's own love, one of life's greatest mysteries.
The fact that my theories are skewed one way
Certainly doesn't help my case at all,
Because my heart quickly hypothesizes,
But if it's wrong, then I will most surely fall.
I believe she's been leaving behind hints and clues
Trying to leave behind a trail for me,
But it's hard to tell what's a clue and what's coincidence
So I'm afraid it's not quite “elementary.”
Is it really so wrong that I want to imprison her
Deep inside my heart and throw away the key?
She could still do whatever she pleased, of course,
Just so long as she always came back to me.
I never knew such strong feelings of love and desire,
And of emptiness and pain when she has to go.
I've never had such trouble getting someone from my head either,
And I'm almost scared that it's actual LOVE these clues show.
I'm at my wits end on this file, I am.
It drives me crazy all night and day,
I'm suddenly spending all day deciphering riddles,
So please, love detective, tell me what to say.
So, love detective, can you help me out here?
Are there definite signs that can determine if she's guilty?
I want to tell her how I feel so badly,
But if I'm wrong and she laughs, my heart will go wilty.
And yes, I know that wilty isn't a word,
But I say it means “the feeling of wilting”, no matter how absurd.
It really is important you help me, dear sir,
I'm begging you here not to decline.
Because I really, truly worry my life might end
If I can't someday soon call me mine.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
No More DP for Me!!!
So, that's it, I'm done with DP! I've been working hard giving DP for a whole week now nonstop, but I'm exhaused and now it's all over, no more DP!
I mean't Double PaD, of course. What'd you think I meant? ...... HA! You perverted bastard!
So anyway, yes, it's been a full week of double Prose a Day, since I didn't finish http://www.proseaday.com/ last week. As such, I am hoping to have a short STORY for Wednesday's PaD, and to have the website done and up. These poems are starting to pile up on me, it's awesome to see so many in my Writing folder :) With games, it takes so long to finish one, so you're lucky to have a few in such a short period of time, let alone... what, 20 now? Good grief!
And to wrap up my DP experience, I give you two that are based on ideas I had been saving for a special occassion. The first, "Cyberpimp", is about the fakeness and, honestly, humor underlying cybersex. Again, I won't go into what cybersex is (if you don't know, google it, comment and ask or email me! It's important to understand it for the prose!), but suffice to say it is rather... entertaining sometimes, even if not for the reason it's supposed to be. The second is one about you, Blogger! "Dear Blogger" is a lyric of the cycle of relationships.
Who's this sweet girl?
v
I think I love her!
v
Let's get really serious, I DO love you!!
v
Oh my god, what have I done? She's a bitch/He's an asshole MFer
v
The crush, the pain, the let down...
v
Who's this sweet girl?
And the cycle goes on and on until one of The Ones is found (yes, ONE OF - I don't believe it's possible there's ONLY ONE... And what happens if you meet more than one of The Ones? Well, if (s)he's so perfect, then they will blend with your current One as well - I am not a believer in total monogamy).
So, please do enjoy!!!! I love you all :)
I mean't Double PaD, of course. What'd you think I meant? ...... HA! You perverted bastard!
So anyway, yes, it's been a full week of double Prose a Day, since I didn't finish http://www.proseaday.com/ last week. As such, I am hoping to have a short STORY for Wednesday's PaD, and to have the website done and up. These poems are starting to pile up on me, it's awesome to see so many in my Writing folder :) With games, it takes so long to finish one, so you're lucky to have a few in such a short period of time, let alone... what, 20 now? Good grief!
And to wrap up my DP experience, I give you two that are based on ideas I had been saving for a special occassion. The first, "Cyberpimp", is about the fakeness and, honestly, humor underlying cybersex. Again, I won't go into what cybersex is (if you don't know, google it, comment and ask or email me! It's important to understand it for the prose!), but suffice to say it is rather... entertaining sometimes, even if not for the reason it's supposed to be. The second is one about you, Blogger! "Dear Blogger" is a lyric of the cycle of relationships.
Who's this sweet girl?
v
I think I love her!
v
Let's get really serious, I DO love you!!
v
Oh my god, what have I done? She's a bitch/He's an asshole MFer
v
The crush, the pain, the let down...
v
Who's this sweet girl?
And the cycle goes on and on until one of The Ones is found (yes, ONE OF - I don't believe it's possible there's ONLY ONE... And what happens if you meet more than one of The Ones? Well, if (s)he's so perfect, then they will blend with your current One as well - I am not a believer in total monogamy).
So, please do enjoy!!!! I love you all :)
PaD 10.5/365: Dear Blogger
This is much more like it!! This one is a song about relationships. Now, I've only been in two myself, the first one was cut short by my own stupidity and the second gradually died. It seems, from watching and listening to people, the MAJORITY of relationships are like this song. However, I am not a full-blown cynic: I do believe in true love, and know that there are people who are truly happy together forever, so please don't take it the wrong way.
BTW: Check that awesome chorus!! I'm majorly proud of that one, a quadruple every/other rhyme! And this after three glasses of wine no less, wheeeee!!!
And one more thing.. For the BLEEP BLEEP line, fill it in with whatever you'd say to your ex/current pit of a spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend.
-----------------------
DEAR BLOGGER
Dear Blogger...
I met someone new yesterday.
I'm going out on a date with her tomorrow,
I just hope it doesn't end the same way.
Dear Blogger...
The two of us had such a great time!
We went to a movie and she cuddled up close,
I melted so much that tonight I can't think enough to rhyme.
Dear Blogger...
I'm sorry this post is so late tonight.
We just spent five hours straight on the phone,
We rambled and laughed, it just seemed so right.
[CHORUS]
And so in you I confide,
Blabbering on forever for all to read,
I tell you everything, I've got nothing to hide,
You can even check it out on your XML feed.
And I love you all, in whom I confide,
Leave your comments for me to see.
As long as you tell me you're by my side,
Then lonely I shall never be.
Dear Blogger...
I'm in love with this girl!
So sweet, so funny, so gorgeous, so... her!
I'm just so glad that she's in my world...
Dear Blogger...
We're going to move in together tonight!!!!
I've got my stuff packed up, I'm ready to go,
My world has never felt so right...
Dear Blogger...
I'm sorry I forgot to post in this last week,
I've just been so busy unpacking and celebrating,
I love her so much! So perfect, so unique...
REPEAT CHORUS
Dear Blogger...
God [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]er!!!!
I'm sorry for using such harsh language,
But this girl suddenly has me feeling like a sucker.
Dear Blogger...
It's over... Finished... Done... Kaput...
She says I'm useless, I think she's a bitch,
And I can definitely tell you where I wanna stick my foot!
Dear Blogger...
I can't believe I did once more,
I had just sworn off of women forever,
How'd I forget my heart would end up so sore?
REPEAT CHORUS
You've seen me through my highs and lows,
You've seen me win and take low blows.
You've seen me when I'm wasted off my ass,
You've seen me when I'm full of class.
You've seen me take on the whole world,
You've seen me when life's wrath is unfurled.
You've seen me fall for blondes, brunettes and redheads,
You've seen me have my heart ripped to shreds.
[Low tone, gentle, sweet tune. Same lyrics as first line, but much slower]
Dear Blogger...
I met someone new yesterday...
I'm going out on a date with her tomorrow...
I just hope it doesn't end the same waaaaayyyyyyyy....
BTW: Check that awesome chorus!! I'm majorly proud of that one, a quadruple every/other rhyme! And this after three glasses of wine no less, wheeeee!!!
And one more thing.. For the BLEEP BLEEP line, fill it in with whatever you'd say to your ex/current pit of a spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend.
-----------------------
DEAR BLOGGER
Dear Blogger...
I met someone new yesterday.
I'm going out on a date with her tomorrow,
I just hope it doesn't end the same way.
Dear Blogger...
The two of us had such a great time!
We went to a movie and she cuddled up close,
I melted so much that tonight I can't think enough to rhyme.
Dear Blogger...
I'm sorry this post is so late tonight.
We just spent five hours straight on the phone,
We rambled and laughed, it just seemed so right.
[CHORUS]
And so in you I confide,
Blabbering on forever for all to read,
I tell you everything, I've got nothing to hide,
You can even check it out on your XML feed.
And I love you all, in whom I confide,
Leave your comments for me to see.
As long as you tell me you're by my side,
Then lonely I shall never be.
Dear Blogger...
I'm in love with this girl!
So sweet, so funny, so gorgeous, so... her!
I'm just so glad that she's in my world...
Dear Blogger...
We're going to move in together tonight!!!!
I've got my stuff packed up, I'm ready to go,
My world has never felt so right...
Dear Blogger...
I'm sorry I forgot to post in this last week,
I've just been so busy unpacking and celebrating,
I love her so much! So perfect, so unique...
REPEAT CHORUS
Dear Blogger...
God [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]er!!!!
I'm sorry for using such harsh language,
But this girl suddenly has me feeling like a sucker.
Dear Blogger...
It's over... Finished... Done... Kaput...
She says I'm useless, I think she's a bitch,
And I can definitely tell you where I wanna stick my foot!
Dear Blogger...
I can't believe I did once more,
I had just sworn off of women forever,
How'd I forget my heart would end up so sore?
REPEAT CHORUS
You've seen me through my highs and lows,
You've seen me win and take low blows.
You've seen me when I'm wasted off my ass,
You've seen me when I'm full of class.
You've seen me take on the whole world,
You've seen me when life's wrath is unfurled.
You've seen me fall for blondes, brunettes and redheads,
You've seen me have my heart ripped to shreds.
[Low tone, gentle, sweet tune. Same lyrics as first line, but much slower]
Dear Blogger...
I met someone new yesterday...
I'm going out on a date with her tomorrow...
I just hope it doesn't end the same waaaaayyyyyyyy....
PaD 10/365: Cyberpimp
So, for the first time I'm kinda let down by this one. I want to attribute it to it being 1am, but I think it's more because I really wanted this one to kick ASS (although that's not what Cyberpimp would do with it...). Anyway, this one is mocking the world of cybersex. I'm hoping to revisit down the line and add to it; this is another I'd love to make into a song at some point.
For those of you unfamiliar with cybersex, please email or comment... LOL I'd rather not explain that in the blog post itself.
------------------------
CYBERPIMP
Hey guys, guess what happened last night?
I got freaky wild with half a dozen girls!
First one, then three, then a huge orgy,
Each one the sexiest women in the world.
How do I do it? I'm glad you ask!
See, I'm what you might call a Cyberpimp.
I log sixty hours a week in the adult chats,
The ladies can't get enough of my little logo chimp.
When I'm online, I'm a majorly sexy hunk,
Cause I'm sneaky, it's nothing like the real me.
Five inch Mr. Happy? Screw that, now it's 15!
Ha, the girls would shit themselves if they saw my real body.
I type with the most eloquent prose,
Who wouldn't fall for proper grammar?
Get her warmed up with textual foreplay,
Then sneak up behind her with my big ol' hammer!
All the chicks I get are playboy bunnies,
I won't do it if they're less than 38EEE
Gotta be less than 60 lbs and innocent girls too,
Luckily, it seems like that's all that I see.
Let's go to my place, check out my hot tub,
That's nothing for me though, with my seven figure job.
Drivin' my Benz, household of servants, platinum teeth,
Yep, that's me, Chuck... Errr... I mean Bob!
It's a good thing no one else lies,
But I know they don't, cause they send me pics.
Although it is kinda coincidental everyone's 18 and hot,
I'm starting to wonder if I can believe these chicks...
So I'm finishing up with a fine ass girl,
Now I'm gonna be honest after being so lewd
And so she decides to be honest with me too...
Oh shit... That was a dude?
For those of you unfamiliar with cybersex, please email or comment... LOL I'd rather not explain that in the blog post itself.
------------------------
CYBERPIMP
Hey guys, guess what happened last night?
I got freaky wild with half a dozen girls!
First one, then three, then a huge orgy,
Each one the sexiest women in the world.
How do I do it? I'm glad you ask!
See, I'm what you might call a Cyberpimp.
I log sixty hours a week in the adult chats,
The ladies can't get enough of my little logo chimp.
When I'm online, I'm a majorly sexy hunk,
Cause I'm sneaky, it's nothing like the real me.
Five inch Mr. Happy? Screw that, now it's 15!
Ha, the girls would shit themselves if they saw my real body.
I type with the most eloquent prose,
Who wouldn't fall for proper grammar?
Get her warmed up with textual foreplay,
Then sneak up behind her with my big ol' hammer!
All the chicks I get are playboy bunnies,
I won't do it if they're less than 38EEE
Gotta be less than 60 lbs and innocent girls too,
Luckily, it seems like that's all that I see.
Let's go to my place, check out my hot tub,
That's nothing for me though, with my seven figure job.
Drivin' my Benz, household of servants, platinum teeth,
Yep, that's me, Chuck... Errr... I mean Bob!
It's a good thing no one else lies,
But I know they don't, cause they send me pics.
Although it is kinda coincidental everyone's 18 and hot,
I'm starting to wonder if I can believe these chicks...
So I'm finishing up with a fine ass girl,
Now I'm gonna be honest after being so lewd
And so she decides to be honest with me too...
Oh shit... That was a dude?
Monday, March 17, 2008
Double-Jobbed Warrior?
WARNING: MATH AND RAMBLES AHEAD THE LIKES YOU'VE NEVER SEEN, OR HAVE AND HAVE BLOCKED FROM YOUR MEMORY!!!!
So, I've come to the realization that I need a second job! The way it goes now, I think I owe Gwen around $100 still. This means that this coming paycheck, after the money for groceries comes out, I'll once more be broke (but out of THAT debt). However, I still have to pay $65 for my traffic class, another $200 for the ticket itself and $450 (hopefully less after shopping around) to fix my car (which needs to be done ASAP, but after the first two). That's $715 right there, which means nearly two months at that rate! So that means, without doing anything like road tripping, buying my guitar/drums/keyboard, repurchasing a PS2 for Rock Band or anything of the sort, it'll be May before I'm clear.
Before I go into the rambling ahead though, let me say too: a second job would mean a job I could lose without dying. That grants infinite confidence for the interview AND the job itself! Suddenly it's not life or death if I'm fired!
With a second job, all the extra would go right toward these things! Granted, I doubt I'll find a second job that pays weekly, but even at minimum wage, $6*30 hours (Sundays and then overnight on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday) = $180 per week. Subtract tax, maybe $150 more a week? Doesn't sound like much in comparison, but considering it'd all be icing on top of my main pay, one paycheck (two weeks) would cover the ticket and traffic school.... One more with the excess from RaC would fix the car... That puts me set in a month! Then I'd have an excess of $250 for each week! That's a guitar in one week alone! That's a PS2 AND Rock Band in another week! That's a road trip with gifts and some new CDs to listen to on the way in another! AWESOMENESS!!! And sure I'll be exhausted as hell, but I'd still get Wednesdays off!
Okay, rant done. Got off the excitement soap box. I swear I won't let PaD suffer for it; au contraire! It'd mean more adventures, more to write about!
So, I've come to the realization that I need a second job! The way it goes now, I think I owe Gwen around $100 still. This means that this coming paycheck, after the money for groceries comes out, I'll once more be broke (but out of THAT debt). However, I still have to pay $65 for my traffic class, another $200 for the ticket itself and $450 (hopefully less after shopping around) to fix my car (which needs to be done ASAP, but after the first two). That's $715 right there, which means nearly two months at that rate! So that means, without doing anything like road tripping, buying my guitar/drums/keyboard, repurchasing a PS2 for Rock Band or anything of the sort, it'll be May before I'm clear.
Before I go into the rambling ahead though, let me say too: a second job would mean a job I could lose without dying. That grants infinite confidence for the interview AND the job itself! Suddenly it's not life or death if I'm fired!
With a second job, all the extra would go right toward these things! Granted, I doubt I'll find a second job that pays weekly, but even at minimum wage, $6*30 hours (Sundays and then overnight on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday) = $180 per week. Subtract tax, maybe $150 more a week? Doesn't sound like much in comparison, but considering it'd all be icing on top of my main pay, one paycheck (two weeks) would cover the ticket and traffic school.... One more with the excess from RaC would fix the car... That puts me set in a month! Then I'd have an excess of $250 for each week! That's a guitar in one week alone! That's a PS2 AND Rock Band in another week! That's a road trip with gifts and some new CDs to listen to on the way in another! AWESOMENESS!!! And sure I'll be exhausted as hell, but I'd still get Wednesdays off!
Okay, rant done. Got off the excitement soap box. I swear I won't let PaD suffer for it; au contraire! It'd mean more adventures, more to write about!
PaD 9.5/365: The Hero's Hero
I almost started this one the same way I've done so many times before: "This is one of those poems inspired by my muse." LOL damn, maybe I should just tell you when something ISN'T inspired by her. Okay, so anyway, the concept here is that despite this man being so tough, so strong, so brave and courageous, he doesn't do it to save his fellow townsfolk, he does it for one woman.
Also, my muse is a fan of the soldiers, so while this is rather further back in time, if she were placed there, methinks this'd be her story, told from the guy's side :)
--------------------------------
THE HERO'S HERO
I stand before the gates of town,
Hordes of soldiers behind my back,
They surround me, cheering, applauding,
We have resisted their attack.
I am lifted, hoisted above their heads
As all the remaining foes run.
My sword is dripping with their blood,
My armor glowing in the sun.
My people welcome me as the hero I am,
Parading me through the town streets.
Minstrels and bards sing songs of my deeds,
Singing these words with voices so sweet:
He's killed dragons,
banished wizards,
And defeated evil trolls.
He's fought dark knights,
Killed the cyclops,
Even scared off all the moles.
Axed Cerberus,
Drowned sea serpents
Took down huge bugs and giants.
He is our hero,
Golden savior,
Our champion most reliant.
But they'll never know I do it not for them,
But for a hero of my own,
One who is strong of body, mind and spirit,
One who'd sooner deserve my throne.
She is the one who waits when I return,
The lady I love with my all,
And I'd sooner crusade to the ends of the earth
Than even imagine her fall.
I know that I'm a warrior, not a poet,
So my words may not quite fly true,
But I carve these words with the blade of my quill
To show my love for only you.
Also, my muse is a fan of the soldiers, so while this is rather further back in time, if she were placed there, methinks this'd be her story, told from the guy's side :)
--------------------------------
THE HERO'S HERO
I stand before the gates of town,
Hordes of soldiers behind my back,
They surround me, cheering, applauding,
We have resisted their attack.
I am lifted, hoisted above their heads
As all the remaining foes run.
My sword is dripping with their blood,
My armor glowing in the sun.
My people welcome me as the hero I am,
Parading me through the town streets.
Minstrels and bards sing songs of my deeds,
Singing these words with voices so sweet:
He's killed dragons,
banished wizards,
And defeated evil trolls.
He's fought dark knights,
Killed the cyclops,
Even scared off all the moles.
Axed Cerberus,
Drowned sea serpents
Took down huge bugs and giants.
He is our hero,
Golden savior,
Our champion most reliant.
But they'll never know I do it not for them,
But for a hero of my own,
One who is strong of body, mind and spirit,
One who'd sooner deserve my throne.
She is the one who waits when I return,
The lady I love with my all,
And I'd sooner crusade to the ends of the earth
Than even imagine her fall.
I know that I'm a warrior, not a poet,
So my words may not quite fly true,
But I carve these words with the blade of my quill
To show my love for only you.
PaD 9/365: Road Trip!
So, here's a song about the joy of a road trip. I soooooo need to learn to play instruments and put these to music!!!!! Grrrrrrr....
------------------------
ROAD TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIP!
Got my clothes
Got some food
Got some drinks
And some cash
Got deodorant
Got some tunes
Got my Tom-Tom
And some gas
It's time for a...
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIP!
Got my toothbrush
Got some change
Got my laptop
Got some tools
Got some friends
Got my car
Got all I need
I ain't no fool!
I SAID IT'S TIME FOR A
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIP!
Rollin down the road,
Six million miles an hour.
Windows open, music up,
Makin' sweet-ass time.
Checkin out the billboards,
Lookin out for cops,
Gotta stop and take a pee,
Haha look, it's a mime!
What's that? It's a
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIP!
(piano plays solo, gentle tune)
Road trippin... Road trippin... Road trippin... Road trippin...
(continues in background)
Mountains, rivers, plains, deserts...
Lizard's just been drained....
Still have hours to go....
Right foot's majorly strained...
But the trip is half the fun...
And the breeze is in my hair...
Whoa, does that say just 3 more miles?...
And now... we're... theeerrreeeeee!!!
(hum of electric guitar and drum cymbal crashing... building til back to full force)
That was a HELL of a
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!
------------------------
ROAD TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIP!
Got my clothes
Got some food
Got some drinks
And some cash
Got deodorant
Got some tunes
Got my Tom-Tom
And some gas
It's time for a...
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIP!
Got my toothbrush
Got some change
Got my laptop
Got some tools
Got some friends
Got my car
Got all I need
I ain't no fool!
I SAID IT'S TIME FOR A
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIP!
Rollin down the road,
Six million miles an hour.
Windows open, music up,
Makin' sweet-ass time.
Checkin out the billboards,
Lookin out for cops,
Gotta stop and take a pee,
Haha look, it's a mime!
What's that? It's a
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIP!
(piano plays solo, gentle tune)
Road trippin... Road trippin... Road trippin... Road trippin...
(continues in background)
Mountains, rivers, plains, deserts...
Lizard's just been drained....
Still have hours to go....
Right foot's majorly strained...
But the trip is half the fun...
And the breeze is in my hair...
Whoa, does that say just 3 more miles?...
And now... we're... theeerrreeeeee!!!
(hum of electric guitar and drum cymbal crashing... building til back to full force)
That was a HELL of a
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIP
Rooooo-oh-ooooooo-oh-oooooooad... TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
A REGULAR BLOG POST!!!!
Hey... So, I haven't put anything up here that didn't involve a four line stanza and a rhyme scheme in a LONG time! So I figured what the hell, here goes nothin!
Life does exist outside of prose, yes. I am almost done with http://www.proseaday.com although it's not saying too much, it's a very basic website. I'll have all the poems from here on there, and once I get time I'll get RSS feeds and the like going too. These double-PaD days are really killer time-consumption wise and mind-draining wise.
Car is doing better, I think I finally figured out that if I play with the gas pedal a few times then keep it down when cranking, the first time it almost goes and then the second time it DOES go. So good news there, yes! The bad news being that it's $500 to actually fix it, so it'll be weeks before I can do that. Oh well, sweet nothings and caresses, sweet car...
I have also fallen in love with the fact that at least MSN/Live messenger and Google Talk allow me to display the song I'm playing! That's super awesome!!!
Oh, and the last thing - hurray for confidence! A geeky 25 year old could have picked up an "i just turned 18 yesterday" girl today, I sincerely believe, but (and this will sound weird) I was hung up on the whole "wow, only 18?" thing. But no more! Wheeeeeeeeee!
Chuck out! Let's keep the love going, Blogger! I've got a PaD about you coming soon too.
Life does exist outside of prose, yes. I am almost done with http://www.proseaday.com although it's not saying too much, it's a very basic website. I'll have all the poems from here on there, and once I get time I'll get RSS feeds and the like going too. These double-PaD days are really killer time-consumption wise and mind-draining wise.
Car is doing better, I think I finally figured out that if I play with the gas pedal a few times then keep it down when cranking, the first time it almost goes and then the second time it DOES go. So good news there, yes! The bad news being that it's $500 to actually fix it, so it'll be weeks before I can do that. Oh well, sweet nothings and caresses, sweet car...
I have also fallen in love with the fact that at least MSN/Live messenger and Google Talk allow me to display the song I'm playing! That's super awesome!!!
Oh, and the last thing - hurray for confidence! A geeky 25 year old could have picked up an "i just turned 18 yesterday" girl today, I sincerely believe, but (and this will sound weird) I was hung up on the whole "wow, only 18?" thing. But no more! Wheeeeeeeeee!
Chuck out! Let's keep the love going, Blogger! I've got a PaD about you coming soon too.
PaD 8.5/365: Big Sister
I swear, I almost ALWAYS like my second prose more. I'm gonna have to start writing a throw-away one and then the real one; the second one is more... ME. More natural. Less forced.
This one is about the ultimate reality show heroine. I won't mention her loss on The Apprentice to yours truly (oh wait, I just did), but because of her wins on Top Chef, Big Brother, Amazing Race and even Survivor (YES, she caved and did it since there was someone special to help her through it, after promising to do all the gross stuff!), she was given her own show! In fact, it's such a huge one that it has literally taken over the world - EVERYONE plays it, whether they know it or not! You may call it karma or fate, but really it's.... BIG SISTER!!!
-------------------
BIG SISTER
Everyone says to watch your back,
“Big Brother is watching” they say.
But the one thing that they don't even know
Is that Big Sister is studying your day.
She's got a frillion cameras in her room
And she watches em all simultaneously.
She even puts thought bubbles and funny lines
On the parts you live so lamely.
The scary thing is that it's all a game,
It's even got a host and producer
You've gotta win challenges to keep household head,
Cause it's life on the street for the loser.
I still say I've got the perfect prize,
And that'd be to live in that booth shes in.
But she's selfish with her frillion screens,
Trust me, if she wasn't, I'd kill to win!
But it's not just the competition she catches, oh no,
She sees every intimate detail.
Changing, getting freaky, clumsiness and drama,
Sorry, there's no point in whining and wailing.
She's lived their lives vicariously,
Hell, she practically even knows em!
And you want to know the scariest part?
She's even watching me writing this poem!
This one is about the ultimate reality show heroine. I won't mention her loss on The Apprentice to yours truly (oh wait, I just did), but because of her wins on Top Chef, Big Brother, Amazing Race and even Survivor (YES, she caved and did it since there was someone special to help her through it, after promising to do all the gross stuff!), she was given her own show! In fact, it's such a huge one that it has literally taken over the world - EVERYONE plays it, whether they know it or not! You may call it karma or fate, but really it's.... BIG SISTER!!!
-------------------
BIG SISTER
Everyone says to watch your back,
“Big Brother is watching” they say.
But the one thing that they don't even know
Is that Big Sister is studying your day.
She's got a frillion cameras in her room
And she watches em all simultaneously.
She even puts thought bubbles and funny lines
On the parts you live so lamely.
The scary thing is that it's all a game,
It's even got a host and producer
You've gotta win challenges to keep household head,
Cause it's life on the street for the loser.
I still say I've got the perfect prize,
And that'd be to live in that booth shes in.
But she's selfish with her frillion screens,
Trust me, if she wasn't, I'd kill to win!
But it's not just the competition she catches, oh no,
She sees every intimate detail.
Changing, getting freaky, clumsiness and drama,
Sorry, there's no point in whining and wailing.
She's lived their lives vicariously,
Hell, she practically even knows em!
And you want to know the scariest part?
She's even watching me writing this poem!
PaD 8/365: The Budget Game
Okay, so this is another of those "not about her but totally inspired by her" poems, where "her" is the awesome Wanda of course. I figure this can be helpful for ANYONE getting out on their own though, since budgeting can be so scary. Once I learn to play an instrument, I plan on putting it to music too
--------------
THE BUDGET GAME
So you're ready to go and live on your own?
Well, sorry to say, there's one thing left to do.
It sucks, I know, but don't bitch or moan,
Because I wrote this poem juuuuust for yoooooouuuuuuuuuu!
.......
I sure hope you make plenty of money,
If you don't, it's about to get funny.
You take what you make and subtract what you pay,
That's how you do it the budgeting way!
Find out what you make a month, that's four weeks to you,
Some months get five weeks, during those just go WHOOO!
Then you take what you spend and take that much away,
And whatever's left is what you can use to play.
Now, calm down, I'll make sure you won't fudge it!
Here's a partial list of what to budget.
But if you do things like netflix or subscribe to pornography
Then it's up to you to add those in, not me.
When you start the budget, make sure that rent is first,
And then certainly electricity, these two are the worst.
Sometimes you need garbage collection and water paid too,
As many places count these with rent, which is sure rude!
Next come groceries, you've got to eat, don't forget.
And if you still owe on your car, you've gotta pay that debt.
And don't forget that you need to pay your car insurance
If you do, and you get into an accident, they'll take your pants!
Then there's automobile fuel and your phone bill,
Whether it's a cell phone or land line, your money you must spill.
I'd strongly suggest renter's or homeowners insurance, just in case,
So if your house suddenly explodes, your stuff will be replaced.
And if you like TV, cable is necessary!
Make sure you get the right package, since tastes can vary.
Oh, and budget for random entertainment stuff also
Better make it at least double if you've got yourself a beau.
If you really wanna get specific, throw in clothes
And I guess that a few of you would need to budget hos.
The final thing that anyone needs is an emergency reserve,
Because being both stranded and broke is something no one deserves.
So remember when you go to spend that measly buck,
This poem that you read online, by a guy named Chuck.
Make sure it's in the budget or be prepared to fail
Because it takes a solid will if you're going to prevail.
--------------
THE BUDGET GAME
So you're ready to go and live on your own?
Well, sorry to say, there's one thing left to do.
It sucks, I know, but don't bitch or moan,
Because I wrote this poem juuuuust for yoooooouuuuuuuuuu!
.......
I sure hope you make plenty of money,
If you don't, it's about to get funny.
You take what you make and subtract what you pay,
That's how you do it the budgeting way!
Find out what you make a month, that's four weeks to you,
Some months get five weeks, during those just go WHOOO!
Then you take what you spend and take that much away,
And whatever's left is what you can use to play.
Now, calm down, I'll make sure you won't fudge it!
Here's a partial list of what to budget.
But if you do things like netflix or subscribe to pornography
Then it's up to you to add those in, not me.
When you start the budget, make sure that rent is first,
And then certainly electricity, these two are the worst.
Sometimes you need garbage collection and water paid too,
As many places count these with rent, which is sure rude!
Next come groceries, you've got to eat, don't forget.
And if you still owe on your car, you've gotta pay that debt.
And don't forget that you need to pay your car insurance
If you do, and you get into an accident, they'll take your pants!
Then there's automobile fuel and your phone bill,
Whether it's a cell phone or land line, your money you must spill.
I'd strongly suggest renter's or homeowners insurance, just in case,
So if your house suddenly explodes, your stuff will be replaced.
And if you like TV, cable is necessary!
Make sure you get the right package, since tastes can vary.
Oh, and budget for random entertainment stuff also
Better make it at least double if you've got yourself a beau.
If you really wanna get specific, throw in clothes
And I guess that a few of you would need to budget hos.
The final thing that anyone needs is an emergency reserve,
Because being both stranded and broke is something no one deserves.
So remember when you go to spend that measly buck,
This poem that you read online, by a guy named Chuck.
Make sure it's in the budget or be prepared to fail
Because it takes a solid will if you're going to prevail.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
PaD 7.5/365: Ode to a Fellow Textaholic
A poem in text format! That's why each begins with (x/y) and ends with (x/160; 160 characters per text).
ENJOY!!!!!!
----------------
ODE TO A FELLOW TEXTAHOLIC
(1/5)
so I wanted 2 make sure u can c
just how much u mean 2 me
u r teh greatest frnd ive ever had
w/ evry vibration of my phone im glad
(127/160)
(2/5)
its sooooo cool that we can share
the stuff any1 else wuld say “i dont care”
and how u can turn a bad day into a good 1
in just a msg or 2, u can make any day fun!
(160/160)
(3/5)
and marcy must really be a twin sister to u
cuz I totally luff you like a sis 2
so maybe ur 15 hrs away big deal
if not for awesome road trips, y have wheels?
(155/160)
(4/5)
i dont know exactly what i did right
to have had u msg me on myspace that one night
but i know that im the luckiest dood alive
to have u around to help me thrive.
(159/160)
(5/5)
i hope u dont get sick of hearing me say
i dont know what id do w/o u for even a day
ur my best friend and even family
and im sorry if this comes off super rambly
(159/160)
ENJOY!!!!!!
----------------
ODE TO A FELLOW TEXTAHOLIC
(1/5)
so I wanted 2 make sure u can c
just how much u mean 2 me
u r teh greatest frnd ive ever had
w/ evry vibration of my phone im glad
(127/160)
(2/5)
its sooooo cool that we can share
the stuff any1 else wuld say “i dont care”
and how u can turn a bad day into a good 1
in just a msg or 2, u can make any day fun!
(160/160)
(3/5)
and marcy must really be a twin sister to u
cuz I totally luff you like a sis 2
so maybe ur 15 hrs away big deal
if not for awesome road trips, y have wheels?
(155/160)
(4/5)
i dont know exactly what i did right
to have had u msg me on myspace that one night
but i know that im the luckiest dood alive
to have u around to help me thrive.
(159/160)
(5/5)
i hope u dont get sick of hearing me say
i dont know what id do w/o u for even a day
ur my best friend and even family
and im sorry if this comes off super rambly
(159/160)
PaD 7/365: The End of an Era
No need to introduce this first piece, since it sorta has a flowless, rhymeless poem to start it off.
----------------------------
THE END OF AN ERA
So this is the end.
Fin, finito, el end-o.
It's so weird to say good bye
But all things must end sometime.
That's right, this is seven of seven.
A whole week of writing about you.
And while I'm sure I repeated myself plenty
It's only to show how true they are.
I don't even know what I'll write about now.
Aliens? Knights? Magic?
No wait, I think I know!
A man named Chuck Rickman....
And his lover, a stripper named Chanel!
God, what a Prose a Day that'd be!
And while this little bit of random text
Hardly qualifies for prose,
What's coming next should!
~Wife material, through and through!
~Awesomelicious desktop!
~Naked time!!! Oh Dumbledore...
~Dramione WILL make its way into future PaD, I swear it!
~Artificial? NEVER!
~Makes every day better, no matter how hopeless it seems
~Alright, so there are lots of “A”s in your name, I get it! You don't get this repetition in “Chuck Derek Jackson”... Except the 3 Cs and 3 Ks... Okay so maybe yours IS easier.
~Easily the best friend a person will ever have.
~Splurge on the L'Bri, make that face pretty!
~Uber-Joyous! That's how she makes me feel
~BFF. Never knew what one of those would be like before, but I think it works well here!
~All these “A”s!!! Damn you! Ummmmm.... Awfully sad that this is the end of this prose, which is the end of the seven!
----------------------------
THE END OF AN ERA
So this is the end.
Fin, finito, el end-o.
It's so weird to say good bye
But all things must end sometime.
That's right, this is seven of seven.
A whole week of writing about you.
And while I'm sure I repeated myself plenty
It's only to show how true they are.
I don't even know what I'll write about now.
Aliens? Knights? Magic?
No wait, I think I know!
A man named Chuck Rickman....
And his lover, a stripper named Chanel!
God, what a Prose a Day that'd be!
And while this little bit of random text
Hardly qualifies for prose,
What's coming next should!
~Wife material, through and through!
~Awesomelicious desktop!
~Naked time!!! Oh Dumbledore...
~Dramione WILL make its way into future PaD, I swear it!
~Artificial? NEVER!
~Makes every day better, no matter how hopeless it seems
~Alright, so there are lots of “A”s in your name, I get it! You don't get this repetition in “Chuck Derek Jackson”... Except the 3 Cs and 3 Ks... Okay so maybe yours IS easier.
~Easily the best friend a person will ever have.
~Splurge on the L'Bri, make that face pretty!
~Uber-Joyous! That's how she makes me feel
~BFF. Never knew what one of those would be like before, but I think it works well here!
~All these “A”s!!! Damn you! Ummmmm.... Awfully sad that this is the end of this prose, which is the end of the seven!
Friday, March 14, 2008
PaD 6.5/365: Grow
This song is rather the opposite of #6, in that while it goes toward the same point, it does it through a more raw, more impassioned manner. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ CUSSES, SKIP THIS ONE!!! The tone to this is more Linkin Park style - rock with rap lyrics, but once again, a folksy chorus. How this'd work in a real song, I'll have to find out when I can get a guitar and learn to play it!
--------------------------------------
GROW
Gotta learn a new skill? Well you’re gonna SUCK,
You’ve gotta crawl before you walk before you run before you thrive.
But the part that you’re really gonna think is insane,
Is how you’re thrown right into the fire; it’s up to you to survive.
You’ve got your friends to help guide you through the mess,
But to make it point to point, the stress is all on your shoulder.
People laugh and point, “God you are such a dumbass!”
But the first lesson is this: Bullshit is in the eye of the beholder.
Sooner or later, you’ve gotta try on your own,
See, people try to tell you why their way is the best,
But, as they say, “different strokes for different folks,”
Just follow your own heart, your own head, and throw out the rest.
Because fucking up is how we grow…
How else are we supposed to know?
The best plants grow from the stinkiest shit,
And the finest mushrooms from the dankest pit,
Fucking up is how we grow!
All it really takes is practice, no matter what it is,
And some unwavering faith that you kick royal ass.
Because I’ve learned that life is 70% confidence,
The rest is split between skill, bullshit and thinking fast.
I used to have a motto, and this is how it went:
“Don’t avoid doing something for fear of doing it wrong”
So while you’ve all rocked out and enjoyed yourselves,
I hope that’s the one thing that you remember from this song.
So the next time you worry and live in fear;
The next time that you lose control, and your insides turn to knots,
Breathe… relax… chill… contemplate…
Then collect yourself, find your new energy and give it all you’ve gots!
Because fucking up is how we grow…
How the fuck else are we supposed to know?
The best plants grow from the stinkiest shit,
And the finest mushrooms from the dankest pit,
Fucking up is how we grow!
Fucking up is how we train,
In all the skills we need to gain,
We all start our lives without a lick of smarts,
But so long as you try and you follow your heart,
Those things you need you’ll ascertain!
--------------------------------------
GROW
Gotta learn a new skill? Well you’re gonna SUCK,
You’ve gotta crawl before you walk before you run before you thrive.
But the part that you’re really gonna think is insane,
Is how you’re thrown right into the fire; it’s up to you to survive.
You’ve got your friends to help guide you through the mess,
But to make it point to point, the stress is all on your shoulder.
People laugh and point, “God you are such a dumbass!”
But the first lesson is this: Bullshit is in the eye of the beholder.
Sooner or later, you’ve gotta try on your own,
See, people try to tell you why their way is the best,
But, as they say, “different strokes for different folks,”
Just follow your own heart, your own head, and throw out the rest.
Because fucking up is how we grow…
How else are we supposed to know?
The best plants grow from the stinkiest shit,
And the finest mushrooms from the dankest pit,
Fucking up is how we grow!
All it really takes is practice, no matter what it is,
And some unwavering faith that you kick royal ass.
Because I’ve learned that life is 70% confidence,
The rest is split between skill, bullshit and thinking fast.
I used to have a motto, and this is how it went:
“Don’t avoid doing something for fear of doing it wrong”
So while you’ve all rocked out and enjoyed yourselves,
I hope that’s the one thing that you remember from this song.
So the next time you worry and live in fear;
The next time that you lose control, and your insides turn to knots,
Breathe… relax… chill… contemplate…
Then collect yourself, find your new energy and give it all you’ve gots!
Because fucking up is how we grow…
How the fuck else are we supposed to know?
The best plants grow from the stinkiest shit,
And the finest mushrooms from the dankest pit,
Fucking up is how we grow!
Fucking up is how we train,
In all the skills we need to gain,
We all start our lives without a lick of smarts,
But so long as you try and you follow your heart,
Those things you need you’ll ascertain!
PaD 6/365: I Believe in You
This is a song, kind of a lighter one, more folksy (think one acoustic guitar). It's about having faith in someone, blind faith, the best kind! And so I bring you... "Encouragement". To note: the repetitiveness of the chrous is done to pass on the idea of driving the point home over and over. It grows throughout the four times, until it's belted out at the end.
-----------------------
ENCOURAGEMENT
I believe in you,
No matter what you do,
I think you’re so great, don’t even try to debate,
I totally believe in you.
When it comes to being funny,
You’re definitely number one-y.
And you’re so amazingly sweet,
I think my teeth fell onto my seat!
What about looks, you ask?In your beauty I’d gladly bask.
And I’ve never had a bad mood you haven’t spoiled,
Heck, if he were still killing people, Dr. Kevorkian’s work you’d have foiled!
I believe in you,
No matter what you do,
I think you’re so great, don’t you dare debate,
I uber-believe in you!
A master chef and foodie extraordinaire,
If anyone’s better, I’m entirely unaware.
And you clean, do dishes and laundry too?
If I ever needed a nanny, I’d totally come to you!
The way you make people laugh, what’s not to like?
I think you’d blow up a stand-up comedian’s mic.
And your creativity? It’s awesome, amazingly so!
You make Michelangelo seem like a regular Joe.
I believe in you…
No matter what you do,
I think you’re so great, don’t you dare debate,
I believe like hell in you!
I BELIEVE in you!
No matter what in the world you do!
You’re way-beyond-great, don’t even try to debate,
I really really really really really really really really really believe in yoooouuuuuu!
-----------------------
ENCOURAGEMENT
I believe in you,
No matter what you do,
I think you’re so great, don’t even try to debate,
I totally believe in you.
When it comes to being funny,
You’re definitely number one-y.
And you’re so amazingly sweet,
I think my teeth fell onto my seat!
What about looks, you ask?In your beauty I’d gladly bask.
And I’ve never had a bad mood you haven’t spoiled,
Heck, if he were still killing people, Dr. Kevorkian’s work you’d have foiled!
I believe in you,
No matter what you do,
I think you’re so great, don’t you dare debate,
I uber-believe in you!
A master chef and foodie extraordinaire,
If anyone’s better, I’m entirely unaware.
And you clean, do dishes and laundry too?
If I ever needed a nanny, I’d totally come to you!
The way you make people laugh, what’s not to like?
I think you’d blow up a stand-up comedian’s mic.
And your creativity? It’s awesome, amazingly so!
You make Michelangelo seem like a regular Joe.
I believe in you…
No matter what you do,
I think you’re so great, don’t you dare debate,
I believe like hell in you!
I BELIEVE in you!
No matter what in the world you do!
You’re way-beyond-great, don’t even try to debate,
I really really really really really really really really really believe in yoooouuuuuu!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
PaD 5.5/365: A Day in the Life of Chuck
Okay, this one takes VERY little intro, since the poem actually has a built in intro!! It could probably also be called "Charlie Gets Carried Away with Random Rhymes", "Charlie Has too Much Fun Being the Active Narrator" or "The Dangers of Writing Tipsy"
----------------------------------
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF CHUCK
Welcome, you must be bored
To come and see how my day goes
But hey, I'm an open book,
So whatever.
Yeah, I know that didn't rhyme or flow.
But I'm busy writing a poem for you
So
I can't be bothered to rhyme
Or flow for any good reason
So hold your horses
And chill
K?
A poem of how goes my day,
Told in hourly form, pretty good I'd say!
It's not that I plan it this way,
It's just how it happens, come what may.
I hope you're enjoying this poetry foreplay,
Which, at 1:19, is technically on Friday,
Hope you've enjoyed my rhyme array!
If you did, throw up yo hands and say HEY!
So without further delay....
8:00-9:00
I wake up, bitch at the alarm,
Check my phone, the texting begins.
Who texted first? Wanda or I?
Whoever it was somehow wins!
9:00-10:00
Still just texting...
It's rather vexing
That despite being awake enough to type on my phone
I don't want to get OUT of bed, all I do is groan.
10:00-11:00
Fine, I'm up, happy now?
Damn mornings, who invented them anyhow?
Can't whine all day, that's what work is for,
Gotta keep texting and get online to check on Blanket Whore!
11:00-12:00
What's happened with the day?
Now I've gotta shower, no more delay!
(Errr.... Didn't I do that rhyme in this poem already?
Wait, no getting sidetracked, gotta keep the course steady!)
Hop in the shower, follow Wandaliciousness's list,
It's the best way to make sure no spot to clean is missed.
12:00-13:00
(Yep, I said 13:00, that's military time,
If you don't like it, go suck a lime!)
Head to work, throw in a CD,
As long as it's ROCKIN', who cares who it be?
Texting the whole way to work while still keeping the road in sight
And I get to work early, or “on the bright.”
13:00-14:00
Work starts, hip hip hooray!
Err.... it's work, what more is there to say?
Except that, between lifting heavy crap and driving a big truck
I still answer the siren's call of my phone's text dance, missing it would suck!
14:00-15:00
Didn't I just say I'm at work?
Skip ahead or go back to 13:00, nothing to see here, you big jerk
15:00-16:00
Time for lunch, go somewhere and get some food,
Arby's? Taco Hell? Chick-Fil-A? Krystals? Depends on the mood.
Oh, and now that I've got time to sit,
I can check for myspace and facebook messages, comments, bulletins and shit!
(I didn't mean I'd shit, as in take a dump,
I meant “and all the rest”, not excrement from my rump)
16:00-20:00
Yeah so I compressed some time, ya sod,
I can do that! This is MY poem, so I am GOD!
It's all still work anyway, so work and text,
Getting further and further and further vexed.
20:00-21:00
Back home I go, takes most of this block
To get home and remove shoes and socks.
Eat while on the computer, what a geek,
But it's Google Talk with Wanda that I seek!
21:00-22:00
The disconnect dance is finally over, damn right,
And it's time to put Elle to bed, turn out her light.
The moment she's tucked in well and good,
Time to get back to my gTalk hood!
22:00-23:00
Oh boy, I'd better get on PaD, it's getting late!
But what will I write? It's for her, it's GOTTA be great!!!
Overwhelmed by failing to find something special enough for her, from me,
And now, at the end of this here hour, it's time for Scrubs, wheeeeeee!
23:00-24:00
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
gTalkin still
24:00-1:00
Wait, is it 24:00 or 00:00? I'm confuzzled!
I think the system has me bamboozled!
But by now I'm lost in gTalk, wine and PaD,
I hope it turns out to be super rad!
1:00-2:00
Finishing up PaD, excited to see what she might say,
No matter what it may be, it always makes my day,
And right around now is when she will say,
“I'm headed to bed, good night, angel”, so I too sleep til the next day.
(Which yes, I know, I must say,
It is technically the same day.
And yes, I also used the word “say”
To rhyme, four times now, with the word “day”.)
So, you've seen a glimpse into what I normally do,
And I know it may seem repetitive to you,
But you don't fix what ain't broke, and CERTAINLY what works damn well,
So if you don't like it, then you can just go to..... Taco Bell.
----------------------------------
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF CHUCK
Welcome, you must be bored
To come and see how my day goes
But hey, I'm an open book,
So whatever.
Yeah, I know that didn't rhyme or flow.
But I'm busy writing a poem for you
So
I can't be bothered to rhyme
Or flow for any good reason
So hold your horses
And chill
K?
A poem of how goes my day,
Told in hourly form, pretty good I'd say!
It's not that I plan it this way,
It's just how it happens, come what may.
I hope you're enjoying this poetry foreplay,
Which, at 1:19, is technically on Friday,
Hope you've enjoyed my rhyme array!
If you did, throw up yo hands and say HEY!
So without further delay....
8:00-9:00
I wake up, bitch at the alarm,
Check my phone, the texting begins.
Who texted first? Wanda or I?
Whoever it was somehow wins!
9:00-10:00
Still just texting...
It's rather vexing
That despite being awake enough to type on my phone
I don't want to get OUT of bed, all I do is groan.
10:00-11:00
Fine, I'm up, happy now?
Damn mornings, who invented them anyhow?
Can't whine all day, that's what work is for,
Gotta keep texting and get online to check on Blanket Whore!
11:00-12:00
What's happened with the day?
Now I've gotta shower, no more delay!
(Errr.... Didn't I do that rhyme in this poem already?
Wait, no getting sidetracked, gotta keep the course steady!)
Hop in the shower, follow Wandaliciousness's list,
It's the best way to make sure no spot to clean is missed.
12:00-13:00
(Yep, I said 13:00, that's military time,
If you don't like it, go suck a lime!)
Head to work, throw in a CD,
As long as it's ROCKIN', who cares who it be?
Texting the whole way to work while still keeping the road in sight
And I get to work early, or “on the bright.”
13:00-14:00
Work starts, hip hip hooray!
Err.... it's work, what more is there to say?
Except that, between lifting heavy crap and driving a big truck
I still answer the siren's call of my phone's text dance, missing it would suck!
14:00-15:00
Didn't I just say I'm at work?
Skip ahead or go back to 13:00, nothing to see here, you big jerk
15:00-16:00
Time for lunch, go somewhere and get some food,
Arby's? Taco Hell? Chick-Fil-A? Krystals? Depends on the mood.
Oh, and now that I've got time to sit,
I can check for myspace and facebook messages, comments, bulletins and shit!
(I didn't mean I'd shit, as in take a dump,
I meant “and all the rest”, not excrement from my rump)
16:00-20:00
Yeah so I compressed some time, ya sod,
I can do that! This is MY poem, so I am GOD!
It's all still work anyway, so work and text,
Getting further and further and further vexed.
20:00-21:00
Back home I go, takes most of this block
To get home and remove shoes and socks.
Eat while on the computer, what a geek,
But it's Google Talk with Wanda that I seek!
21:00-22:00
The disconnect dance is finally over, damn right,
And it's time to put Elle to bed, turn out her light.
The moment she's tucked in well and good,
Time to get back to my gTalk hood!
22:00-23:00
Oh boy, I'd better get on PaD, it's getting late!
But what will I write? It's for her, it's GOTTA be great!!!
Overwhelmed by failing to find something special enough for her, from me,
And now, at the end of this here hour, it's time for Scrubs, wheeeeeee!
23:00-24:00
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
gTalkin still
24:00-1:00
Wait, is it 24:00 or 00:00? I'm confuzzled!
I think the system has me bamboozled!
But by now I'm lost in gTalk, wine and PaD,
I hope it turns out to be super rad!
1:00-2:00
Finishing up PaD, excited to see what she might say,
No matter what it may be, it always makes my day,
And right around now is when she will say,
“I'm headed to bed, good night, angel”, so I too sleep til the next day.
(Which yes, I know, I must say,
It is technically the same day.
And yes, I also used the word “say”
To rhyme, four times now, with the word “day”.)
So, you've seen a glimpse into what I normally do,
And I know it may seem repetitive to you,
But you don't fix what ain't broke, and CERTAINLY what works damn well,
So if you don't like it, then you can just go to..... Taco Bell.
PaD 5/365: My Own Personal Guide
This poem is about the insane fact that, despite the fact that I've been online for 13 years now, have an AAS in computer science, have worked in a search directory, know HTML, ActionScript (Flash) and all, yet Wanda can still find so much awesome stuff I've never seen or even heard of!!! The second half of today's PaD (day 2/7 for the doubles) will be up later! I still need a topic...
--------------------------
MY OWN PERSONAL GUIDE
You know, I was raised here long before you.
I surfed these streets and hung in the best rooms,
I met someone and even married them when you were a teen,
And yet somehow you know more about this world than I do.
Surfing unfamiliar super information highways,
Following you, who somehow knows every twist and turn.
No GPS needed when following wise ol' Google,
Worried I'll get lost in pop-ups, so by your side I'll not stray.
Visiting Club MySpace and the Facebook scene,
Then stop by a sideshow, where Harry Potter is a puppet,
Followed by a free seat at the Youtube Theatre
Good god, those guys in the Big Brother vids can be mean!
We listen to a woman who, with great conviction and voice, stands.
Then another, with great folksy sound, declares her love for giants,
And who are these guys who can't wait to be shut up?
They rock though, all of em, so raise and clap yo hands!
In our travels, of course we need to eat,
So you show me recipes aplenty by Rachel Ray.
You tell me to look out for Flay, but to Alton Brown we pray,
So we grab our plates of fancy food with words I know not and take our seats.
“What's left? :)” I type, amazed at how well you know this place,
My legs grow tired from staying on my surfboard,
Damnit, why can't they call it “laying the web”?
Though that's much more like the porn we avoid – 99.9% of this place.
“Wanda Suba is typing”... Then “Just one thing left” appears.
“What's that?” I type back, but I already know the answer this time.
“You need to blog it” “Oh and don't forget to upload the pics”
Then she adds “You must share it with all your dears”
I blog, and upload, and comment on yours, so funny!
Then comment on your comments which are comments to mine.
Commenting back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth until all that's left is one little thing,
Dang, so much here, these sites must be humping like bunnies!
--------------------------
MY OWN PERSONAL GUIDE
You know, I was raised here long before you.
I surfed these streets and hung in the best rooms,
I met someone and even married them when you were a teen,
And yet somehow you know more about this world than I do.
Surfing unfamiliar super information highways,
Following you, who somehow knows every twist and turn.
No GPS needed when following wise ol' Google,
Worried I'll get lost in pop-ups, so by your side I'll not stray.
Visiting Club MySpace and the Facebook scene,
Then stop by a sideshow, where Harry Potter is a puppet,
Followed by a free seat at the Youtube Theatre
Good god, those guys in the Big Brother vids can be mean!
We listen to a woman who, with great conviction and voice, stands.
Then another, with great folksy sound, declares her love for giants,
And who are these guys who can't wait to be shut up?
They rock though, all of em, so raise and clap yo hands!
In our travels, of course we need to eat,
So you show me recipes aplenty by Rachel Ray.
You tell me to look out for Flay, but to Alton Brown we pray,
So we grab our plates of fancy food with words I know not and take our seats.
“What's left? :)” I type, amazed at how well you know this place,
My legs grow tired from staying on my surfboard,
Damnit, why can't they call it “laying the web”?
Though that's much more like the porn we avoid – 99.9% of this place.
“Wanda Suba is typing”... Then “Just one thing left” appears.
“What's that?” I type back, but I already know the answer this time.
“You need to blog it” “Oh and don't forget to upload the pics”
Then she adds “You must share it with all your dears”
I blog, and upload, and comment on yours, so funny!
Then comment on your comments which are comments to mine.
Commenting back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth until all that's left is one little thing,
Dang, so much here, these sites must be humping like bunnies!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
PaD 4/365: TWO POEMS!
So, I said that the website would be done today or else I'd post two per day for a week. Well, it didn't quite happen: proseaday.com is HALF up. So, I'm honoring my promise of two, and as such, here are both of them!
The first one is in honor of pretty much my favorite past time: Replying to Myspace bulletin-surveys! It DOES rhyme, because I couldn't resist, but the word flow is meant to fluctuate. Of course, for those who don't know, first comes the question, then the original answer. The ---- is a reply to the original answer, and then the ~~~~~ is a reply to the reply of the original answer. This can go on for god knows how long! Of course, not ALL answers need to be replied to, so questions are deleted inbetween.
The second I won't even go into it as it's entirely self-explanatory.
----------------------------------------
POEM ONE: Ode to the Myspace Bulletin-Survey
1. Why are you doing this?
The great Wandaliciousness did it first, so I couldn't resist.
---- Better look out then there will be more.
~~~~~ I sure hope so, I'm such a bulletin whore!
2. Is anyone thinking of you?
I doubt it, but I know someone I'd hope would make that untrue.
---- Oh yeah? For whom do you wish?
~~~~~~ I'm going to have to plead the fifth on this.
5. What does your last text message say?
“Good morning, angel”; it made my day.
---- You're welcome then
~~~~~~ It makes me smile again and again
11. What color is your fav?
Orange-brown. It's such a rave!
--- Haha you finally got that now?
~~~~~~ Sure did, and how!
214. In what place were you born and grown?
That'd have to be Illinois. To be specific, Chicago.
------- Chicago! Don't you miss it?
~~~~~~~~~ Sure do! If wishing I was there would bring me back, I'd wish it!
812 and 2/3. How'd you like this survey?
It was good, although obviously long. What I like more is messaging about it afterward, yay!
---- Then I guess I'll have to post more of these.
~~~~~~ That would be awesome, yes please!
----------------------------------------
POEM TWO: Wanda A-Z
The first one is in honor of pretty much my favorite past time: Replying to Myspace bulletin-surveys! It DOES rhyme, because I couldn't resist, but the word flow is meant to fluctuate. Of course, for those who don't know, first comes the question, then the original answer. The ---- is a reply to the original answer, and then the ~~~~~ is a reply to the reply of the original answer. This can go on for god knows how long! Of course, not ALL answers need to be replied to, so questions are deleted inbetween.
The second I won't even go into it as it's entirely self-explanatory.
----------------------------------------
POEM ONE: Ode to the Myspace Bulletin-Survey
1. Why are you doing this?
The great Wandaliciousness did it first, so I couldn't resist.
---- Better look out then there will be more.
~~~~~ I sure hope so, I'm such a bulletin whore!
2. Is anyone thinking of you?
I doubt it, but I know someone I'd hope would make that untrue.
---- Oh yeah? For whom do you wish?
~~~~~~ I'm going to have to plead the fifth on this.
5. What does your last text message say?
“Good morning, angel”; it made my day.
---- You're welcome then
~~~~~~ It makes me smile again and again
11. What color is your fav?
Orange-brown. It's such a rave!
--- Haha you finally got that now?
~~~~~~ Sure did, and how!
214. In what place were you born and grown?
That'd have to be Illinois. To be specific, Chicago.
------- Chicago! Don't you miss it?
~~~~~~~~~ Sure do! If wishing I was there would bring me back, I'd wish it!
812 and 2/3. How'd you like this survey?
It was good, although obviously long. What I like more is messaging about it afterward, yay!
---- Then I guess I'll have to post more of these.
~~~~~~ That would be awesome, yes please!
----------------------------------------
POEM TWO: Wanda A-Z
Addictive. Addiction personified, even.
Blanket Whore, just can't get enough blankets!
Chanel Raspberry Chocolate. Never was there a sweeter, sexier, more wonderful woman.
Dramione. I've gotta fit that into a day!
Evil. She most certainly is! Her evil level is so great, it's nearing the sun.
Fascinating bitch, and it's not just her that says so.
Green froggy, this monkee luffs thee.
Hero. Me? No greater honor could ever be bestowed.
Ice cubes. I'm gonna need to munch on a few.
Japan, by boat or ferry. Let's go!
Kiss Proof? I think not!
Linkin Park – she's coming with next time!
Mother; A fabulous one at that!
Number 47 needs to cut down on the killing long enough to get some! Maybe then he wouldn't kill so much...
Orange brown. Without her, it'd just be orange... And that'd suck.
Pizza, cold please!
Q-Tip. An important part in the lessons on showering.
Reality show hero! What would it take to get her on the next Big Brother, anyway?
Sounds like she's sending another song... And what a surprise, it's AWESOME!
Toe Socks! They make not only the greatest footwear, they even work as an exclamation!
Under no circumstance is she allowed to leave her Chuck Connector behind!
Vexed? She's an AWESOME bitching post!
Wandaliciousness. Enough said
Xylophone player in our band, perhaps?
Yummy; her food always is, because she's a major foodie and great chef!
Zero: If you ever feel like one, she'll fix that fast
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