PaD 23/365: The Tale of the Cataclysmic Bard

So, today's PaD is a song, one that you will have to read to discover yourself! ROCK ON!!!

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THE TALE OF THE CATACLYSMIC BARD

VERSE 1
Back in the day, minstrels told tales
Of villains, love, heroes and war,
Of wizards, warriors and women most pure,
Of adventure and other random types of lore.

One such tale stars a magical bard,
Who used music, not spells, to cast magic.
The tale begins in a land most tame,
Where life was truly dull, oh so tragic!

The bard had other ideas, believe you me,
So he went to buy a guitar, but there were none in stock!
Oh right, they didn't exist, so craft the first one he did,
Then he learned to play... and sing... and ROOOOOCK!!!!

And so he sang...

CHORUS
I don't need a sword, don't even need kung fu
Cause I've got my axe, tell those assholes farewell!
I'll rock your pantaloons off and open your eyes,
Today's the day that we... rebeeeeeellllll!

VERSE 2
Armies arose to try to defeat the Bard,
Wielding weapons and wearing armor most slick.
Behind him the townsfolk gathered, fearful
But he stood, laughed, grinned and whipped out his.... pick.

(spoken: What'd you think I was going to say? Huh?)

As he strummed his guitar and sang his songs,
The earth quaked, volcanoes erupted and the sky turned to horrendous squall.
For so great was his power over the magic of metal
That even the elements were relentlessly at his beck and call.

And so, with the help of brave townsfolk everywhere,
The Bard did defeat the villains most heinous.
He shook his posterior in his assless chaps and said,
“Take that, suckers, now kiss my anus”!

Then he sang...

REPEAT CHORUS


VERSE 3
As the Bard raised his guitar in victory,
He addressed the masses of villagers.
“Heed these words,” He said, his voice booming,
“And fear not murders or pillagers.”

He said “Be not afraid to be yourself,
And speak your mind, always stay true.
But at the same time, stand unified and strong,
Keeping grasp of what it is that makes you YOU.”

“Most importantly of all,” He added,
“Always stand up for your beliefs.
Whether on relationships, government and morals
Or things as trivial as boxers versus briefs.”

And as he rode on, he sang once more...

REPEAT CHORUS